Post # 122
sorry I just had to chime in here – I’m from Scotland where evening invites are very common, but I wouldn’t invite someone to drive all that way and then expect them to be apart from their fiance – that’s just rude. As a poster said above it’s even worse that she wants you for her photos – I’ve never heard of that in my life!
I’d spend the money for the trip on an evening out with your fiance, send an apology and a card with an average gift. Don’t react to it, rise above – but as the other girls are saying, your fiance shouldn’t even be considering attending without you.
Post # 123
It boggles my mind how they could think this was a good idea and not rude, tacky, and INCREDIBLY selfish. They’re asking you to devote 6+ hours of your time to their day, without having to include or pay for you! Not to mention, you get to sit around while Fiance goes off and has fun with people who see no problem with excluding you.
So even after seeing the invite and hearing you out, he sees no problem with it? Even if they do have budget concerns and guest limits, does he not see why you would be getting the short end of the stick, through no fault of your own? Okay, they have budget issues. However, that’s no reason to punish you by asking you to accompany Fiance for a 2.5 hour drive, wait in the car for an hour, and then fill up 6 hours (and find dinner) by yourself while Fiance is treated to dinner and drinks. And then you get to join in on the dancing, where everyone else will be talking about the wedding and dinner that you weren’t invited to attend.
Post # 124
@amicelli13: That is SO WEIRD!!! and rude and kind of hilarious all at the same time because how could anyone possibly think that that’s an Ok invite to send?
Post # 126
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@amicelli13: That is absolutely awful! There aren’t words to describe how hurtful, tactless, rude and classless this is. One would have to wonder if the couple is mad at you for some reason because that wording is so carefully worded and deliberate to exclude you. I’m so sorry for you. If that were done to me I would absolutely be reconsidering my friendship with this couple. And I cannot believe your Fiance would not stand by you as I’m sure you are upset by this. My guy would absolutely not be okay with this. It’s one thing if you were not invited at all, but this is an entirely different level inviting you to some parts of their wedding and not others. You decide what you will do but I know that I would decline then send a card and write nothing but my name in it (I also would not be inviting people like this to my own wedding). I would also be beyond upset if my guy was excusing this rudeness and going. Please update and let us know what you and your Fiance decide to do.
As much as it would be tempting to be really snarky with the couple and make a scene (if you go) by letting other guests know, I wouldn’t. It’s not worth it. I would, however, try to find out if there was something that happened which made the couple be this outwardly rude and exclude you (though if they had such a major problem with you then they should not have invited you at all). This is just beyond mean.
Post # 127
Simple; send your regrets and a simple gift in the mail. Rude ass issued solved.
Post # 128
Wow, that is a different kind of invite. lol
Post # 129
If your Fiance won’t back you up and decline, I’d attend the whole thing.
Fuck them, they’ll have 2 options- ask you to leave in front of everyone, but come back later, which makes them look ridiculous OR they’ll do nothing and let you attend the whole thing as they should have!
How rude. You’re engaged, that means that right up until this couple are married, your relationship is the same ‘level’ as their. I wonder how they would feel being split up for 6 hours in a strange town because someone is too cheap to pay for their meals! Venue restriction my ass- if it’s the venue with the limitation then why are you allowed at that venue AFTER dinner? They’re just cheap. Either they shouldn’t have invited you at all or they should have invited both of you, so as not to disrespect you/your relationship.
Post # 130
“Remember the time I was invited to watch a couple take photos AFTER their wedding ceremony? And nothing else for 6 hours? Oh my, what fun I had!”
Said no one ever.
It does make for a fun memory tho! Just decline and wish them the best 🙂 People have different views on what makes a gracious host, I wouldn’t hold it against them.
Post # 131
wow people get really creative with their rudness. I’d be livid at Fiance who seems to think it is no big deal. You should def not bother going and if your Fiance had any respect for you he wouldn’t go either.
Post # 132
I wouldn’t go if it were me. Very rude!
Post # 133
Ah, my lovely SO and his sarcastic comments. I could explain everything or watch this comedian and see if it gives you any “simple gift” ideas
Post # 134
So.. I have a question that might have already been adressed, but I didn’t see it.
The actual invite mentioned your names? That means each invite was persoanlized? I feel like that would cost a small fortune. Like if they had less complicated invites manybe then they could have afforded to feed everyone lol
Post # 135
I am amazed at the number of ppl who say “don’t go but send a gift”. Eff that noise to the Nth degree! I would be MO RE inclined to RSVP decline, and say I donated their gift money to charity … At least the recipient would appreciate the gift!
I refuse to reward bad behavior or rudeness … Be it from a child or a grown-up!
Post # 136
Thanks so much for all the replies! I am so glad that I wasn’t the only feeling shocked and offended by this invite. Like I said I spoke to Fiance and he didn’t see a problem, and other people didn’t think it was weird either but then again they were friends of that couple. So I’m thinking maybe it’s only in their eyes that it’s ok but then all of them have been invited fully anyway. I don’t think I’ve offended them.. the bride is always saying to my Fiance that we as a 4 should hang out together. After this fiasco, does she really expect me to be all chummy?
Anyway, so we decided that Fiance can do what he wants (he wants to go to all that he’s been invited for and I don’t want to be the bad guy and say no) and then I would only attend in the evening provided that he picks me up from a friend’s house (although it’s still an hour away). So we agreed this.
The wedding is this Saturday.. AND!!!! This will make you all fall off your chairs in horror. So last night, she emailed Fiance and told him on the lines of “we’ve just had some of our guests tell us that they couldn’t make it now, so now she can come to all of it”. I give credit to her.. at least she didn’t try and make up an excuse about it and is hurtfully truthful as to her reasons for my now full invite. I mean great, it solves the whole issue essentially.. but it’s super awesome to know you’ve been invited 2 days before the wedding, but only because her A-List backed out. Sure makes me all happy inside(!) The sad thing is, it’s not my place to be all rude and decline, since Fiance really wants me to go – so I’m now attending and keeping my thoughts to myself. But he shouldn’t be expecting I’ll put any money towards a gift or even sign a card.. I don’t have time for that 🙂
Conclusion: When I send out my invites.. I wonder what surprises this couple might find in their envelopes … if they get one!