(Closed) Not sure how to understand his behaviour

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It sounds like an issue that should not be forced. You are on different pages. It might be best to move on. I do not say that lightly.

Post # 3
46 posts

I agree with @theatrejulia.. it really sounds like you are on different pages. Be might also be feeling pressures to get married because you want kids so soon. Also it’s only been just over a year, gotta give a guy some time. Especially since he is in his late 30’s and probably already made the decision regarding marriage and kids, but doesn’t know how to tell you.

Post # 4
8281 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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me14:  It sadly sounds like you just aren’t a match for each other for more than one reason. Maybe it is best to move on.

Post # 6
6236 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you already have your answer. Act in accordance to this. then, if he is serious about actually marrying you and having a family together, you”ll have very clear concrete evidence of this by his ACTIONS not what he says. 

Post # 7
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

View original reply
me14:  It doesn’t mean he tricked you. Don’t invent a scenario. If you want to have kids soon, then I think you need to look elsewhere for a partner. He’s not ready, and might never be.

Post # 9
190 posts
Blushing bee

Us women are bad for this.  A man will give us a straight up answer, yet we still try to dissect and analyze it to find a hidden message.  When a man tells you something, believe him the first time.  I hate to say this, and I know it’s not what you want to hear…but I would prepare myself to exit the relationship.  Living together is not going to change his mind if he doesn’t plan on staying here in the first place.  To me it sounds like you’ve become something to pass his time with whIle hes in the country.  If he saw a future with you, he would be open to marriage because he knows that’s what you want…and he would be making plans to stay or move you with him.  If you’re 25 and wish to have children soon, I wouldn’t waste my time on someone who is clearly giving you a dead end. I know all of this is easier said than done, but you don’t want to wake up a year from now when the end becomes a reality.  He’s telling you he doesn’t want to get married, he’s telling you he’s leaving after his contract expires….believe him. 

Post # 10
1032 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Break up with him, he will not marry you, sorry.   You really don’t know what his life back home is like…



Post # 11
48 posts

Oh hunny I’m sorry. He is not the right person for you. 🙁 If you really love him you will need to give up on marriage dreams.

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