(Closed) Not sure I want to be Catholic anymore…but I don't fit in anywhere else.

posted 8 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema

I’m the same as you. I’m a liberal Catholic burlesque artist!

I no longer attend church, ahven’t done since I studied religion at uni and decided the religious part isn’t for me, but the spiritual part is.

I’m quiet about my beliefs and I don’t really feel guilty for not going to church, to me, it’s what you believe and how you act and treat others that is more important.

I doubt that’s helped you any, but thought I’d let you know you’re not alone!


Post # 5
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@MrsCreeToBe:  I’m in the same boat you are. In checking out different Methodist churches ( the ones around here are “liberal” in regards to some of the social values.  I am also looking at the united church of Christ. 

Post # 6
14492 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Have you checked out some non-demoninational churches in your area? There are some out there that are socially liberal.  The woman that married us is a deacon in her church and she is gay and for the most part liberal (with some exceptions).  Her church is very welcoming, so they are out there if you want to go.

Post # 7
4322 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

You may have some luck with a Unitarian church. http://www.uua.org/  At least check it out. Nothing to lose by reading.

Post # 8
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sounds like you need to look into the episcopal church! Sounds like it meets all your criteria: they are socially liberal, but follow catholic traditions (depending on your individual church, as some lean Protestant).

Post # 9
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Honestly, I was also raised Roman Catholic, and fell into the same type of problem as you. I actually went to private Catholic schools all the way from Kindergarten through 12th grade. I think I was pretty lucky, though. I went to a church that never preached fire and brimstone. I was only ever taught to love others and treat people how I want to be treated. 

There was a point where I thought about leaving the Catholic religion. A friend of the family came out, I was HORRIFIED by the reaction. Her friends and family just dropped her. One of my biggest problems was that she is one of the sweetest most kind person I have ever met, and it upsets me that people would automatically treat her as if she was horrible. Her being gay does NOT change who she is as a person.

The reason I stayed was my Monsignor. He is SUCH an amazing person. Someone who truly practices what he preaches. He never treated her any differently. Also, he held a full funeral mass for a boy in my sister’s class who committed suicide. He let my sister get married in the church even though she was pregnant. He cares so much for everyone in our parish. From what I understand, he is retiring next June (after my wedding). I honestly don’t know if I’ll go back to that church after he retires. 

At this point, I have done my soul searching and I have my own beliefs. I have just decided that they can also coincide with the Catholic religion the way I was taught it.  I went to schools that may have been a little more liberal. I had the most amazing science teacher in grade school who was very deeply religious, and also a strong believer in science/evolution. She was a great resource for me. Also, in high school, I went to an all girls school that didn;t want their girls to be at any disadvantage. We were taught comparative cultures that covered different cultures and religions. We had Bible as Literature as one of our classes where they taught us to use it as a guidebook, but that you can not read it as literal. Also, we had Sex ed. They taught us all about contraceptives and also taught abstinence. 


Basically, it will come down to you and your own personal choices. 🙂

Post # 10
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I was also Catholic. Born and raised, had my first communion, went to a Catholic school, etc.

Catholicism did not suit me when I grew up. I just think everything is too repetitive and felt like I was a robot repeating what it is being said. It was just not working for me. My brother became a non denominational Christian and I started going to his new church, and that is when I finally found Jesus Christ. Have you tried non denominational churches? I am now a non demonitational Christian and it feels so much better to know that it is all about your relationship with Christ and not about the religion. 

Post # 11
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@CountryRose:  That’s what I was going to say.  Episcopal all th way.  Catholic light.  Mostly the same ritual for mass (profession of faith, etc.) but way more accepting of liberal social ideals.

No religion is going to be perfect.  You’ll just have to accept that if you want to be part of a church.  Just find the best fit you can ans agree to silently disagree on the other things (at least silently while you are at church).

Post # 12
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@CountryRose:  I was going to say the same thing!  

Post # 13
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If you are looking for a Christian denomination that is in line with your beliefs 100%, it’s going to be tough. I think your biggest issue is going to be the pre-marital sex. I don’t know of any Christian denomination that’s ok with pre-marital sex. Just sayin. I’m sure there is one out there though .  . .

This isn’t a judgment. I’ve had pre-marital sex myself and consider myself Catholic. I’m just a sinner.

Also re: evolution, the Catholic church actually has one of the most liberal stances on that (I personally do not believe Creationism should be taught in any public school)

Most protestant churches are ok with contraception (I think). Not sure about abortion though.

I think you have to find a faith that is as much in line with your ideals as possible, but you’re not going to find a perfect match.


Post # 14
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Another suggestion for Episcopalian.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with how you are feeling.  It shows you have evolved into your own thinking and beliefs and that is a great thing.  The bees have made some great suggestions.  I am sure you can find a place where you will feel at home.  Religion is meant as a guide for how you live your life.  If you differ in belief on some things that is just fine. 

I was raised Catholic as well and now I am not religious at all.  I pray and will attend church on occasion if invited but I have no desire to be a member of any church.  I have also been to a mosque and studied all different world religions and have found they are more alike than different.  I say all this to say we all evolve and that’s okay.  So long as you are comfortable with where you land, that is all that matters. 

Post # 15
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

You sound like a picture-perfect Episcopalian to me!  It would be worth checking into.  I know lots of lovely Episcopalians.  They are very welcoming. 

Post # 16
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@PGsHotBride:  My FH and I were debating on raising our kids Episopalians because we are both different denominations of Christianity and wanted to choose one that we both agreed with most of their stuff. Do babies get baptized there and do children have communions? Those are two important things that I want my children to experience, especially baptism as an infant. I would not be open to a church that does not baptize babies.  

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