(Closed) Not sure if I could ever get engaged…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@vitaminshake:  Um I’m not sure what you’re asking, but it seems like he’s stated his intentions pretty clearly: he likes the way things are and doesn’t want to get married anytime soon.  Are you not okay with this?  If you’re not ok with it, then you probably need to leave, or at the very least, move out.

Post # 6
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

He’s happy playing house and you moving in says your okay with that to. His motivation for getting married has gone out the window. He already has everything elese, a job, a nice apartment, plenty of cash, now he has his “wife” and things are set. I think its a HUGE mistake to move in with a guy when you’re hoping to get engaged.

No one is saying you have to breakup with him, but you need to talk to him and let him know you thought you two would be getting married soon. If he doesn’t feel the same way then maybe you do need to split because that’s a BIG DEAL. I would say def move out. He might realize he misses you and ask you to marry him. It might speed things up if he doesn’t have you in his bed everynight.

Post # 7
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mrshoneybee:  Why do you think it’s a huge mistake to move in with a guy if you’re hoping to get engaged?

Post # 8
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You have to ask yourself what you want more, 

To get married/engaged

or to be with him.

If he’s talking about putting both your names on cars and things like that, then it’s pretty cement. 

Post # 9
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@nikix:  like i said in my comment, His motivation for getting married has gone out the window. He already has everything elese, a job, a nice apartment, plenty of cash, now he has his “wife” and things are set.

Post # 10
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@nikix:  its not cement until the marriage certificate is signed. until then, everything is sh*t

Post # 11
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mrshoneybee:  I moved with my Fiance before we got engaged?

Before he met me he already owned two condos, a M3 and his own business. 

So I don’t see what any of that has to do with getting engaged vs. not getting engaged.

Post # 12
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mrshoneybee:  I don’t get how you could think that

So people with houses and cars together aren’t shit? You’ll have to take legal action to end the ties, much like divorce, a little cleaner, but messy none the less.

But you have to be married before you’re anything?

Even though being married doesn’t stop you from getting a divorce ..

What about people with kids?

Psh, commitment means shit to them.

Ha

Post # 13
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t see how this could be mcuh clearer. It’s not that you guy WON’T talk about it, it’s just that he won’t talk about it ANYMORE than he already has.

He already said that he likes your relationship as is, without an engagement and without a marriage. He said that he is not ready to talk about marriage, and that the subject of marriage makes him feel rushed.

He isn’t ready to get married to you. Who knows when he will be. You have two choices: stay in the house and understand that you may never get married to him, or it might take 5+ years. Or you can move out, pull back a lot, and act more like a girlfriend and less like a wife.

You can’t allow him to treat you like a wife with shared property and cars, houses, etc. Otherwise he doesn’t have a lot of motivation to propose anytime soon. If it were me, I would move out to my own apartment. You can remain in a relationship with him, but it needs to be more casual and reflect his feelings about marriage to you. 

Post # 14
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@nikix:  Slow down. i’m not saying those people are sh*t, I’m saying that isn’t commitment and calling buying a house together commitment is bs when you’re scared to get married.

 

Post # 15
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mrshoneybee:  Some people just don’t want to get married, what is the problem with that?

Post # 16
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@nikix:  I’m not talking about you Nikix, I was replying to VitaminShake’s post. She does want to get married and I was responding to her particular situation. Not yours, so cool down. No one is attacking you or your decisions.

The topic ‘Not sure if I could ever get engaged…’ is closed to new replies.

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