Post # 1
My fiancee proposed back in July, during a sunset. He gave me a semi-romantic proposal. He covered his room with lights, candles, and did it at sunset. He even got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him. I was shocked at first but I was excited.
We even told his parents right away. Sounds like the picture perfect proposal, correct? Except it didn’t feel like it. The setting was perfect, the aftermath is what worries me. Instead of being excited wanting to celebrate the fact, we both agreed to spend the rest of our lives together. He went to bed.
yes, you read that right. He went to bed. I was sitting there just bursting with excitement and wanting to celebrate. He declared he was tired and he went to bed.
I want to let it go. I want to forget it, but it’s a bit of a sore spot. I mean, I always imagined after I got engaged, that we would be up half the night with extreme happiness, celebrating, talking about our future.
I know he’s always been a quiet guy. He’s very much someone who lives in his head. But I figured even with someone who lives in his head, this would be a big deal.
Am I missing something? Am I being cruel? Help!
Post # 2
jandbd : Where I’m from sunset is around 9:00PM in July. Are you saying he went to bed immediately? Or did he stay up and be excited for an hour or two?
Post # 3
My dh had been sleepless for 3 weeks over the proposal. He passed out within minutes. i didnt blame him
Post # 4
Darling Husband proposed around 1AM when he arrived home from a work trip. I said yes, we said “I love you”, hugged, kissed and went to sleep, lol. We were both exausted as we’re both early sleepers. The next day we went out to celebrate.
I think your Fiance put a lot of effort into the proposal and maybe he was just tired/sleepy? Don’t read so much into it, just enjoy this new time in your life!
Post # 5
Daisy_Mae : it was about nine. He stayed up until 9:30 or so let me tell his mom then he passed out. I guess, maybe, it has to do with how I always imagined it. I just thought he would be more excited. I mean, I didn’t sleep that night.
Post # 6
With all due respect…how is a sunset proposal that includes a man getting down on one knee after decorating a room with lights and candles only “semi” romantic?
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
It was a surprise for you but he knew it was coming. So while you were shocked and adjusting to the newness of the situation, he’d been prepared for it for some time. He stayed up long enough to share the news. He was sleepy, maybe the whole process of planning the proposal was exhausting for him. Give him some credit for setting a romantic scene and just try and let it go and enjoy your engagement.
Post # 8
If this happened back in July and you’re still upset about it, well, that’s just not healthy really. He says he was tired, and it doesn’t sound like he’s given you any reason to doubt that, so it’s probably best to just accept it and move on. We all have days when we suddenly feel drained and exhausted and want to crash. Maybe he was even exhausted from the anticipation. I know a lot of people don’t sleep well the night before an important event.
Make new memories and celebrate your love together and stop worrying about the past. This is a very minor thing to get hung up on.
Post # 9
jandbd : Well, my husband and I both went to bed immediately following his proposal. At least yours didn’t spend the whole day having to decide if that’s what he wanted to do or not. There’s nothing semi about your proposal. Glory in it. Maybe he was super nervous – that can really knock you out after. I bet he’d feel horrible if he knew you were dwelling on this. Start looking to the future and don’t worry about the past. It’s over, there’s no turning back, so now what do you choose to look forward to?
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2018 - Vineyard Lake
jandbd : You said, “I didn’t sleep that night”. Did the proposal happen a few days ago? Did he seem more enthusiastic the next day?
Post # 11
I’m pretty sure my husband and I went to bed pretty quickly after the proposal as well. We didn’t even tell anyone for a couple of days!
I think you need to choose to let this go. You will have months to be excited during the engagement.
Post # 12
Well it was a shock for you, so you were probably all full of adrenaline. Maybe he was really nervous and emotionally exhausted after?
Although I do agree with you. If my partner proposed to me I would want that to be like as exciting for them as it was for me.
Maybe he wasn’t feeling well but had planned this whole thing and then didn’t want to ruin it.
Post # 13
We went to bed right afterwards too, I don’t think its a big deal!
Post # 14
chocolatemilk : well I knew he was going to do it. He made a bad joke that he had the ring hidden under my nose. I found it within 5 minutes of the joke. It was more of a whim for him. he kind of just decided to go with it. You see, his bedroom always had the christmas lights up, and the one candle. So he kind of just pulled it out of his pocket and went “I guess this was yours.” That’s when I told him, no you do it properly.
Hence the semi romantic part. He had worked a half a day at work. So he was kind of tired. I don’t know. It could be steming from my doubts. He wasn’t even that excited the next day.
thanks for the feedback, everyone. I just wondered if it was me.
Post # 15
“Stemming from [your] doubts”? So you’ve been having doubts about marrying him?
If everything has been fine with your relationship, and there’s no reason for you to be doubting whether he wants to propose or not, I don’t see why you’re still upset about it… It’s been 3 months since the proposal, how are you two doing now? Are you and your Fiance excited about marrying each other at all?