Not sure if I need to worry

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 17
1424 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

My proposal was while we were sat in our pyjamas watching a TV show. I said yes, we watched the last 15 minutes of the show we were watching, ate the rest of our pizza and went to bed… It was only the next day it hit us and we started telling people.

I think there’s a bigger issue here. Definitely sounds like you’re having doubts but has the proposal really got anything to do with that? Why are you arguing? What are you doubts really stemming from?

Post # 18
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

This was back in July and you are still thinking about your ‘semi romantic’ proposal?? He proposed to you. He bought the ring, and asked you to marry him. What’s wrong with that?

Post # 19
80 posts
Worker bee

After reading your update, the proposal does sound a little less romantic than in your original post. Had you been constantly asking him to propose and when he was going to do it? It sounds a bit like he felt a bit rushed in to doing it and wasn’t doing it in his own time, especially if he hasn’t been excited since and you’ve been arguing a lot.

or, if he did come to that decision to propose in that moment on his own, maybe he was just feeling exhausted from thinking about it.

Have you asked him since how he feels about being engaged since?

Post # 20
7413 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you’re having doubts about being married, honestly that’s a bigger worry than what time everyone went to sleep after the proposal. Marriage doesn’t solve problems. You two should probably focus on fixing whatever problems are in the relationship that are giving you doubts, and worry about a wedding later on.

Post # 21
2487 posts
Buzzing bee

So sad, but you’ve bought the whole “story book prince down on one knee our life has exploded with joy…….” bit without assessing your, his, and mutual values, dreams, aspirations, expectations first.

Can you address your mutual needs for honest, forthright, direct communication here and now regarding what you both want and expect and require in what there is between you? If so, you may by doing so answer your questions about the proposal.

The proposal is NEVER the big deal- the relationship definitely IS.

Post # 22
6807 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

jandbd :  Okay well it looks like this is the REAL issue here. You’re having doubts. That needs to be addressed. If you got the “perfect prosposal” would you still be having these doubts? Because if all your doubts stem from him falling asleep…I’d say you need to get over it. But maybe that’s just you fixating on this one concrete thing when there are many other less concrete problems going on. 

Post # 23
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

My Fiance proposed at dinner, and we both had to get our cars out of garages shortly afterwards, so we left each other about 10 minutes later. We’d driven there separate from work. Dinner was late, so we went to bed shortly after getting home. We were both very excited, though.

Have you talked to your Fiance about this? Expressed your concerns?

Post # 24
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

This was almost 4 months ago… how have things been since then? Has he shown excitement about planning a wedding/future? Why are you still unsure?

I didnt have a romantic proposal but I didnt dwell on it. I was just excited to marry him.

Post # 25
2139 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

jandbd :  Sounds like a preatty sweet proposal to me. Don’t hold going to bed quickly after that against him… maybe he was excited for days and didn’t get good sleep and was finally able to relax? As long as you’ve had conversations where you are both excited and planning your future don’t worry about it. The proposal happened months ago… why are you still worrying?

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