(Closed) Not sure if I should invite my dad…

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I invite my dad to the wedding?
    Yes, he should at least be invited : (1 votes)
    8 %
    No, not after everything : (6 votes)
    50 %
    I don't really know : (3 votes)
    25 %
    Yes but I didn't read your post : (1 votes)
    8 %
    No and I didn't read your post : (0 votes)
    I don't know because I didn't read your post : (0 votes)
    Other : (1 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    12248 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I understand finding religious forgiveness in your heart, but you don’t mention that he’s stopped smoking crack or that he’s trying to. I don’t think that I would invite him to the wedding. You’ve invited him into your life, and I think that’s more than enough.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7450 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Only you can decide if you want him at your wedding. I think it’s great that you are able to forgive him, but I don’t think that makes you obligated to invite him if you wouldn’t feel totally comfortable doing so.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1607 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @kris325:  To me, you don’t sound like you *want* him to come, and that’s whats most important. Honestly, go with your heart- if it’s going to cause you more anguish than you think it’s worth, don’t invite him.  If he ever sobers up, he’ll understand your decision, and if he’s not sober anything he says is still in his disease. I give this advice as someone who cut her father off about 6 years ago after realizing that he will NEVER get sober and that it’s just not worth being sad about something I can’t control (needless to say, he won’t be invited to my wedding.)

    Post # 8
    Member
    3776 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    @kris325:  I don’t have any advice, I am just extremely sorry that this is the relationship you have with your father.  It isn’t even close to fair and I wish things were different.

    Post # 10
    Member
    699 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Just because you’ve forgiven him doesn’t mean you have to reconcile with him.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    It is a very hard decision but you have to go with your instinct. I had a similar situation with my father and made the decision not to invite him. In the end, my wedding was filled with people who loved me and supported me always. I wanted only positive people around me on the day I would start a new chapter of my own. I had some of the same thoughts you did beforehand but I truly know I did the right thing for myself when I look back and think about the amazing energy and love around me that day. Congratulations and good luck.

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