- 3 months ago
I really need some help, some of you might have been in similar situation I really would like to get some advice.
My partner and me have been together for 3 years and 5 months, living together for a bit more than a year.
Last July I was hoping he will pop the question during our holiday at the Maldives and to be honest I was disappointed it did not happen. We talked about marriage before that I would like to get married one day (I am now 39 and panicking) it and would love to get engaged in the very near future (was hoping it would happen last year).
After our holiday I told him I thought he would propose, but said it more in a funny way I was not resentful or anything we actually had a bit of a laugh about it.
Then September came and the subject came up again and I started to push it and hinting sometimes directly saying this is what I want. Nothing. It was our 3rd anniversary in October, was hoping for a ring, nothing. Then one of his best friend proposed to his girlfriend, which made me quite sad but was still hoping.
The engagement topic came up again in November but now we had arguments about it and I started to be resentful a bit. We went through a rough patch, not because of this, there were other issues as well but from my side this issue has definitely contributed to it.
Then December came, my Birthday and Christmas. I had really high hopes. The only thing that happened that my best friend got engaged on Christmas Eve. I was really really happy for her but was devastated at the same time. I was very disappointed, we are not in our early 20s, he is 37, I am 39, after more than 3 years he should know if he is planning with me on the long term or not.
In January another very good friend of mine got engaged. I just started to feel worse and worse, clearly I am not worthy enough for a man to put a ring on my finger 🙁 I had many hissy fits and heated argument about this with my partner and his reactions have either been negative or just said nothing.
However recently he admitted he has been speaking to a diamond broker and also last weekend came up with some very odd ideas about going to Italy for a weekend to visit some amazing restaurants (long way to go for a meal). I have the feeling he has given in and planning something but I got to the point now that I don’t really care much and I don’t want to be engaged beacuse I was pushing him to it, also would like it to be a surprise, telling me about the diamond broker ruined it a bit.
I would like the man to propose because he loves and really wants to marry me not because he has a pressure on him from me and his friends who are now all married or engaged.
I am also starting a new job in 3 weeks time which will be tough and will require a lot of focus so the engagement is not my priority anymore, however if I turn him down he may not propose again.
My question is do you actually think it is on the cards now and how soon would he do this? (He wanted me to go with him to Dubai next week for a long weekend, he is there on business but I am too busy at work to hand over my projects, I can not take time off). He keeps saying he wants to go away before I start my new job, so could it be because he wants to propose?
I am not even sure how I would react, I know myself and I know I will not be excited or crazy happy, been waiting for it for too long and had too many arguments about it and I have been crying a lot, I just don’t want it right now and want to wait a few months to see how I feel.
What would you do?