bridget09 : I was with my ex for seven years before he proposed, and that was after many years of difficult conversations, arguments, and comprimses. We started dating when we were very young and getting engaged just seemed like the next step when you’re with someone for a certain amount of time, or when you reach a certain age. We live in a world where there’s a lot of people to compare ourselves to, whether we are actively comparing or not, we remain affected by what the people around us are doing.
In my case, my ex proposed on our seven year anniversary and I asked him if he was serious. I didn’t cry, like I had always thought I would. It wasn’t romantic and there wasn’t a speech or any accolades, but it was the proposal I had been pushing for, and it just didn’t feel special. I said yes because I loved him and I still wanted marriage and was happy that he seemed to be on the same page finally. But I ended the relationship a year later, because we just weren’t compatible, it didn’t feel right spending the rest of my life with someone because we had already been together for eight years (though I had taken on that identity, and I’m relieved I was able to break away from it).
Anyway, my experience is my own and yours is your own, but I do understand where you are coming from when you say you’re not as interested as you once were. This is a couple’s decision to make. In the relationship I am in now, we are actively having and back-and-forth conversation about getting married and designing a ring and planning for our future. If you hoped, wished, and dreamed for a surprise proposal, I get it. But maybe it doesn’t need to happen that way, maybe your SO wants a conversation to help him figure out what ring style and proposal you want. That can be a really great step for you both, doing this together.
I don’t think it’s such a bad thing that he told you about the diamond broker–he might have wanted to assure you that he’s got something in the works and ease your concerns. But this is all speculation, us Bees don’t know your guy. He could be feeling pressured (sorry to say), he could be feeling like he wanted to take more time and now is the right time, he could want to plan this with you. There’s a lot of thoughts and feeling going through your head and the same could be for him. If this is someone you love and want to spend your life with (because you want to, not because of your age or how long you’ve been together), then the next step for me would be to have an open conversation. No pressure, just a healthy back-and-forth. See where he’s at, let him know where you’re at, ask if he wants some help.
It does sound like he’s planning something for you, so you can wait and hope there’s a proposal instead of another disappointment, or you can open the barriers and talk to your SO. If he asks you and you’re hesitant because of your job, you can always have a longer engagement.