- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
One of my bridesmaid has always been a girl who cancels last minute, leaves you hanging but you love her anyway sorta girl. She has made a habit of letting people down alot more lately and not just for an odd night out. I knew what she was like so when I asked her, I only expected her to turn up for the hen party and for the wedding and asked nothing more. She was a really close friend from the past and I didnt want to leave her out of our small group of friends. 4 of us.
Since then she has not turned up to our friends (my other bridesmaid) birthday, no call, message, no apology, no excuse just lets it blowover and acts as if it never happended. She hung upon me on the night of my hen party (she was my lift and I was calling wondering why she was late) she finally messaged my other bridesmaid back saying ‘carry on without her as shes running late and doesnt know how long she would be.’ She never turned up, and we were having a murder mystery night so that she could be a part of it as she was pregnant, but she was meant to be the murderer so the night was a bust despite all the effort everyone else made with costumes etc. when my friends messaged her asking what happened, she just messaged me saying sorry but acted as if it was no big deal and hd no excuse. I didnt hassle her for an answer as I wanted everyone to get along on the day so we all just never spoke about it.
Then last week my other bridesmaid was getting married (another mutual friend). She had to chase her up to find out if she was actually coming as she still hadnt heard anything back from her just 3 days before the wedding. she text her back the next day saying yeah ill be there. Then came the wedding and there was no sign of her, no message,no call. Wouldnt answer her phone. The next day I started to worry as she is pregnant after all and this was a close friend of hers getting married and her wedding was just down the road from her house. So I rang her parents house (She moved out over a year ago but she wouldnt answer her phone) to see if she was ok. Her dad answered and was a bit embarrassed when he told me she had gone to watch a horse riding competition and that she was perfectly fine! He said he would be seeing her later so would tell her I called and that I had been worrying.
Over a week later none of us have heard anything from her (I imagine she is a bit embarrassed) but now everyone is saying they dont think she will turn up to mine which is in 3 weeks time. I havent heard from her in over 3 weeks as it is. Although this is normal for her.
I am the only one who really bothers with her anymore as she does this alot to people but I dont want to wait until the morning of my wedding to find out if she turns up or not. And if she does, my other bridesmaids will smile for me but be furious with her for letting them down before all this. I dont want to ask her straight if she thinks she is going to make it or not because she would never admit to not planning to turn up and I dont want to ask her not to be a bridesmaid as I feel that would end the last bit of friendship we have left.
I dont think she means to hurt people and honestly doesnt think she is aware of how much she upsets people when she lets them down which makes it so much harder because she never apologises or tries to make ammends. Getting married is the biggest thing in the world to me but I dont want to lose a friendship over it. Any advice..please! I am going around in circles! X