(Closed) Not sure if my bridesmaid will be there for me :( Prepare for a rant!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well, you can’t really ‘un-ask’ a bridesmaid – even if you put it in the frame of “do you really think you’ll be able to make it’ she could see it as a personal attack and it could likely hurt your friendship.

Knowing this is how she was, you should have prepared for this type of behavior.  People don’t change just because they’re added to a bridal party – the flakes will be flakey, and the dependable people won’t.

I know you said you don’t want to wait until the day of the wedding to find out whether or not she will come, but really that’s your only tactful choice.  Tell your other bridesmaids that they just have to deal with her presence or absence and to keep the snide remarks to themselves.

Post # 6
662 posts
Busy bee

1) If she shows up then good.  If not just have the Best Man stand up with the groom at the beginning of the ceremony and then the rest of your bridal party will be even again. 


2)  If she cared about those events, she would be there.  I don’t mean to sound mean here but I think its time you accepted the fact that she just doesn’t care.  Its not that she doesn’t know that it upsets you all, its that she doesn’t care.


3) Don’t hint to her anything at all.  Stay out of that one.  You can’t be the bandaid to every relationship problem of your friends.  It sounds like your friends are growing apart from her anyway.


4) Seriously sit down and have a conversation with yourself about how much you are making excuses for her behavior.  You seem like a good person. You deserve a more faithful friend.  If you take just your hen party you have a “friend” you were depending on to actually get to the party who let you down and then lied to you to your face about still showing up.  I’m POSITIVE that she has some really great qualities but she isn’t treating you like a friend and you might want to assess whether or not you’re okay with such a one sided friendship. 


Good luck!!

Post # 7
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

What purpose does this person serve in your life?

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