(Closed) Not sure if my MOH & Jr Bridemaid will show up to my wedding.

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 18
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@mrsrigsby60:  I was joking about inviting the entire teams.  You say that your goal in having them in the wedding is to be closer to them, and to have a relationship with them after the wedding.  So, you need to have a talk with your future sister-in-law.  What kind of things do you do together now?  What is your age difference like?  

I think if you work on building your relationship with them now, you will be less likely to be alone up there on the altar…um, except for your husband-to-be, of course!

Post # 19
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Sorry to say this but I would have picked people who weren’t always so busy and who cared more about you and your fi. 

If texts and emails aren’t being answered call them instead. It wouldn’t do any harm.

Post # 21
Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

This is such a tough situation you’re in then. I see from other posts that there is no one you would want as a backup, so I guess you’re just stuck! Is there no one else that can get the daughter to these events so that at least her mom is free for the wedding should there be a conflict? I’d imagine she has friends on the team with parents who would help out. Good luck!

Post # 22
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@mrsrigsby60:  Invite her to dinner once a week.  Over and over.  

 

 

Post # 24
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’m sorry but what I could find online, for your area girls softball, there is no practices or games in April. What other sports is your futher niece in?  If they are so sports involved why did they agree to be your Maid/Matron of Honor and Jr bridesmaid in the first place?

I feel for you, not knowing if they will be there. Do you not have a cousin, on your mom’s side, that you could ask to step in? Or maybe a coworker that you are close to?

Good Luck! 🙂  I hope they see that family should be more important than sports!!

Post # 26
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I guess it must be different in GA than in IA. We only have softball in the summer. That way the girls can do other sports or interests the rest of the year.

Could you just not have any attendants? Just have the two of you stand up. Let your mothers hold your rings until it is time to exchange them. Then you would not have to worry if they show up or not.  🙂

Post # 28
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Have your mom as Maid/Matron of Honor also so that if the girls don’t show you still have someone standing up for you. Have your mom help and stop depending on them for help. Pick things for your wedding that you can handle with people you can depend on (mom, you, fi). Try to get money back for the bridesmaid luncheon. If not see if the location will just give you credit for the amount and you and your mom or you and fi go there for a dinner or two at a different time. I would skip that all together. I don’t think the event is necessary in general and if your bm really aren’t going to be bm it is just a waste of your money. I know it is probably painful that they are picking other things over your wedding but hey you know now and you can work around it. Continue from here on out with expectations that they won’t make it and if they do then yay of they don’t you won’t be disappointed that day.

Post # 29
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Unfortunately a relationship is a two-way street, and no matter how desparately you want to form one, if they aren’t receptive or responding to the idea, it probably isn’t going to happen.  I do like the idea of your mom being your Maid/Matron of Honor, especially since his dad is his BM!

Post # 31
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I totally know where you are coming from. I am having to deal with a situation with one of m bridesmaids who is also my sister in law. It is a tough situation. But if you want her to be there just keep trying to get in touch with her and pin her down on a confirmation that they will be there. If you don’t or are unsure. Stop trying and think about someone who maybe more suitable. 

There is no quick fix unfortunately. 

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