(Closed) Not sure what advice to give.

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2008

From the vmail, it doesn’t sound like anything is going on, or that they’ve even talked– it sounds like maybe she accidentally called his phone a couple of times (like misdialed his number when she was trying to reach someone else), and that he then tried calling her back a couple of times to see what she wanted/why she’d called, and this was just her response voicemail saying that she’d only accidentally called him, and that she didn’t need him afterall.

I’ve done that before, accidentally called one friend when I meant to call another, because I just mixed up the numbers in my head.  And then you dial again, after you get the machine/no answer, and accidentally dial the same wrong number again.  Whoops!

Then again, if she trusted him, she wouldn’t be checking his voicemail!  So is she suspicious for other reasons?  She must be, if she’s looking to leave him from just a simple voicemail that doesn’t even say anything!

Post # 4
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’d tell her to calm down and stop checking his VMs. If she’s going to snoop she has to be prepared for what she might find. What probably happened was this ex called his phone. He called the ex back to see what she wanted and left a voicemail. The ex then called him back saying it was accidental. Again, your friend needs to calm down.

Post # 5
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

The only thing I am going to say is that if you snoop, whether it be via hacking into his email, checking his voicemail, etc, you cannot confront him with what you have found. Snooping indicates a lack of trust, which is the true issue here.  If you don’t trust him, then there will be other instances that come up where you can discuss not being able to trust him, the reason for it, and how you can fix it.  Otherwise, snooping is only going to cause you to worry and it just isn’t right.  How would you feel if you found out your man had been snooping through things you thought were private?

Post # 6
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I say your friend needs to calm down.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the vmail from the way you describe it.  Just sounds like they are playing phone tag.  Also, she can’t expect her Boyfriend or Best Friend to tell her everything he does every day and every person he talks to.  I know that I occassionally talk to exes and I don’t report it to FH because there’s really nothing to report.  those exes are just people.  nothing going on.

Also, if she’s snooping there are definitely trust issues. If I was her Boyfriend or Best Friend I would be REALLY upset to find out that she is snooping, it might even be enough reason for me to end the relationship.

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