Post # 1
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
My Fiance is Catholic and I am Protestant. Both of us are religious, and we agree that we’d like to be able to go to church together, but neither of us is particularly willing to budge. He has been attending a Methodist church with me, but when I am not around he still goes to his own church, and prefers it there. I offered to go to the classes for becoming Catholic, but at this point in time I have a lot of issues with the Catholic church doctrine and I can’t promise him that I’ll want to become Catholic just because I’m in the class.
I moved to be with him after a four-year long-distance relationship, and we’ve been looking for a church we both like since then (almost a year now), and he somehow always finds something he doesn’t like about each one. This has frustrated me greatly not having a church home (I feel like I’ve been really far away from God for months now…), but it also means we can’t pick a church for our ceremony because neither of us wants to make the other person unhappy. And he requires that it be in a church, instead of outside or in some neutral place. So besides constantly talking about to the point where I’m just sick of it, I don’t know what else I can be doing … help!
Post # 3
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
Do you know a pastor or priest (or even a family member or friend that you look up to) that you could both sit down and talk with about your differences? I think, regardless of denomination, a leader in a church would want to see you both on the same page as believers. It’s important for both in a relationship to have a good understanding of what you each believe.
I know that there are a lot of differences betweent the Catholics and the Protestants, but I think if you can share common ground in the fundamentals of what you believe, then you can overcome the minor differences.
Post # 4
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
This may be too obvious, but have you tried the Episcopalian churches in your area? Depending on what is important to him about the Catholic church, they might be more satisfying, while being doctrinally closer to your views. The Episcopalian liturgy is closer to the Catholic experience, IMO.
By the way, this is a suggestion as much for the long-term as for the wedding.
Post # 5
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
I second historienne. My Fiance and I were in the same position as you too, and we found the Episcopal church to be a great fit for both of us. I got the theology I preferred (women in ministry) and he got the liturgy and tradition that was important to him. (And come to find out he prefers the theology at the Episcopal church too.)
Post # 6
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
I agree with the Episcopal/Anglican church. A lot of churches I’ve been to have different kinds of services at different times. For example, there might be a more evangelical service early on Sunday morning, and then a later high Anglican service. That way, if worship style is also a problem between the two of you, you could go to different services/or go to one service one week and another service another week while still being part of the same church community.