(Closed) Not sure what to do

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MissouriBee:  His responses are crap, it’s inexcusable.  DO NOT BELIEVE HIM.  If you truly meant that much to him, he would have simply cut her out of his life.  This whole excuse of stringing her along to get back at her????   SUCH OBVOIUS BULLSHIT.  Everything points to him not being faithful to you (even if he never slept with her, it doesnt mean his actions weren’t unfaithful).  He continued a relationship with this girl without your knowledge – THAT IS UNFAITHFUL.  Dump his sorry ass.

Post # 4
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m so sorry, that sounds like an awful experience… 

What was his explanation for saying that he cheated on you with someone else? And why is he being so vindictive? I really hope there’s nothing insidious going on, but I have to say that I’ve always believed love and hate to be very close, the only true antithesis to having feelings for her would be total indifference. Please just listen to your gut, it will always tell you when something isn’t right… and tell him that no matter whom it’s toward, that kind of behavior makes him look bad more than anything else. 

Post # 5
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

OK, there are 2 options here:

1) This guy is telling the truth and this should be a SERIOUS red flag. Who the hell plays games like this? Let’s assume he did go through all of this for all this time just to get revenge on her – what kind of a person does this make him? Certainly not a mature one. Why would you want to be with someone that plays games and is a vindictive backstabber?

oe 2) He’s lying through his teeth. He cheated on you, betrayed you, LIED to you, disrespected you, forgot about you on several occassions it seems and now he’s trying to manipulate you. Run far, far away. NO good will ever come of this.

I’m so, so sorry.  🙁

 

Post # 6
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hmm I have to go with hes lying to you. Even if he wasn’t, who does that? I’m sorry you are going through this and I hope you can either work it out with him (counseling maybe?)…good luck!

Post # 7
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@yellowismyfavoritecolor:  agreed, though I`m leaning like 10% and 90% respectively.  

Either way OP, would you want to marry option 1 or option 2?  I know I wouldnt...so sorry youre going through it.

Post # 9
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MissouriBee:  I can definitely see why you’re confused… 

How does he treat you? Is he always really good to you, or is it plausible that he may have cheated and lied? Does he seem remorseful about being such a wang, or does he get defensive? Again, there’s no way to know for sure, but just be true to your gut feeling. Honestly, I would probably spaz out and tell him to immediately sever all communications with her and show me proof. Even if he didn’t do anything, he should know exactly how much his words and actions had potential to hurt you. I’m reluctant to insist that you end your relationship, but the responses from other posters indicate clearly exactly how suspect he’s being. And not that it needed to be said again, but if he’s really this type of person, he better worship you and treat you like a goddess, or I’d walk away. He sounds like he’s got some serious problems with playing mind games. 

Post # 12
Member
2454 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

@yellowismyfavoritecolor:  +1. This. This this this.

Either he cheated on your or he is being horribly manipulative, cruel, and vindictive to this girl. Either way, run.

Post # 13
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

He’s lying.  End of story.  I can’t tell you what to do, but I would be out before he could come up with a more believable lie.  I’m so sorry that all of this happened to you, babe— you don’t deserve it at all.  There’s too many honest guys out there who would give you what you deserve.  Don’t waste your time.. it’s the only thing you can’t get back.

Post # 14
Member
533 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry. Please run away, you deserve better.

Post # 15
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I don’t really know what to say that hasn’t been already said but *BIG GIANT E-HUG*

Post # 16
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MissouriBee:  As Dan Savage would say, “DTMF.” Lose him, love.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I’m sorry he did this to you– but this has to be a dealbreaker. Forgiving him, getting back together, etc. just lets him know that you’ll tolerate this behavior. If you won’t (I hope you won’t) don’t. Move on.

 

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