(Closed) Not sure what to do …….

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yeah, I would talk to her. 

One of my BM’s really wanted to stay in the wedding party but with her moving far away, college, lack of car and other things I had a talk with her since she was absent for a lot of my wedding planning, barely answered my FB messages, text messages and phone calls I finally got a hold of her and asked her what was up, she confessed how busy she has been and how busy she will continue to be for the next year so she gracefully bowed out and will be attending the wedding as a guest. 

Maybe that is what is happening to your BM? She is busy and life is catching up to her? It is disheartening that she may be avoiding you for alternative reasons, but all the more reason to talk to her, find out what has her avoiding you or neglecting her job as a good Bridesmaid or Best Man. 

I don’t think you’re being crazy, she has given you enough suspicians to warrant a discussion about her actions and how she is making you feel. If she is of reasonable mind she should respond positively at the worst she will pull out because she cannot take on the task of being a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but at least she would own up to it. 

Good luck~

Post # 4
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you tell her you want her out due to non-participation, you will create oodles and oodles of drama, and it may irreparably damage or end your friendship. If you aren’t interested in maintaining contact or friendship with this person, confront them. If you are, just ignore the obnoxious behavior and turn to people who are more supportive of you. As long as you can get her in one place long enough to make sure she’s got her dress and will show up on time, that’s all that really matters, right? 

Post # 5
8877 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Whilst i undestand that you are disappointed that your friend isn’t living up to your expectations the thing is is that they are your expectations not hers. In life it is really bad to compare yourself to others and what you would compared to what they would do because everyone is different.

But on top of that maybe something is going on in her life? Maybe she is having money or marriage problems? have you taken a breath and asked her about her life recently? Sometimes people don;t want to bring a happy person down with their own problems. I mean if she is having marriage problems a year after her marriage do you really think she wants to talk marriage and be all happy happy with her happily engaged friend?

Post # 7
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@CinderellaBride:  So did she show up for wedding at least?  And that’s awful that she would do that to you right before the big event!  Evening stringing you along for all those months instead of just being honest was so rude on her part.  Sorry you had to deal with such a shitty friend, but hope your day was beautiful!

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