(Closed) Not sure what to do…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
511 posts
Busy bee

First, take a deep breath and be thankful that Hurricane Sandy hasn’t swepped you out to sea, or some other catastrophic even that will make you realize that you have a lot to be thankful for.

Next, speak to your boss and tell her that you requested a quote and that the $12K means that you’ll be choosing another caterer,  Don’t ask anything but see how she responds,

I know the pain of not having the support of your family but just because you’re related to them doesn’t mean that they have to be a part of your life.  Only you can decide whether your brother not attending is worth having your mother there, but ultimately that’s his decision.

And lastly, ignore the naysayers who have nothing better to do than rain on your parade.  You can choose to let them bother you if you like, but why would you want to do that?  Your wedding is about you and your Fiance getting married and it should be the best day possible for the two of you,  Everyone else can just suck eggs.

Post # 4
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I’ve got nothing for the rest of the problems, but I’m going to discuss #2.

Do not use your own company. This is a conflict of interest. You are putting yourself in an awkward position by contracting your employer to cater your event. Ask yourself this question: If they royally screwed up, do you feel you could call them and complain? Do you think you would be treated fairly as a customer? Do you think there would be resentment on the job if they weren’t satisfying your complaint to your satisfaction as a customer? This has the potential to get really ugly really fast, and it could be far more trouble than you reasonably foresee. An ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. Look the other way. Use someone else.

Post # 5
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You sound like a really kind, thoughtful person and I’m really sorry you have so much drama surrounding what should be a happy occasion. Is moving your wedding to a later date an option? It would give you some time to think things through and make sure that everything goes the way you want it to (or at least as much as is possible).

1. I would definitely get my money back from the jeweler who scammed you, as I would be nervous about leaving an heirloom stone with a shoddy jeweler for a third time. I would contact him and try and set up a refund amicably but if he’s difficult, there might be legal action you can take considering his work is substandard.

2. Don’t use your company. That is a considerable difference in price and using your employers for a personal event can be risky, anyway. Your boss probably won’t confront you about it and if she does, you can say it was purely for financial reasons or you can say that your venue had an on-site caterer.

3. Short of changing your date, there’s not much you can do about the arrival of a baby and you’re handling this a lot better than some other posts that I’ve seen. Going with a later date might make it easier for your maid of honor to attend and participate.

4. You’re right to make the decision not to invite someone who would make your day unnecessarily stressful and upsetting. I would talk to your brother personally and let him know how much it would mean to you if he were there. If he refuses, it really just depends on whether you decide that having your brother attend outweighs the negative impact of having your mother there.

5. Again, this isn’t really anything that can be handled by anything other than a date change.

All in all, I think what will help you the most is remembering that marrying your fiance and becoming a family is the most important thing. The only important thing, really. A wedding is just a party and no party is worth putting yourself through so much stress. Just remember that no matter what, you’ll be ending this whole thing with a husband and everything else is just extra!

Post # 6
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Maybe you guys could elope and then have your “proper” wedding a bit later? Then you’d have all your (then no-longer) pregnant ladies with you. And maybe you would have time to patch things up with your mom (or folks who would side with her). I dunno…my cousin was planning a wedding for December and they ended up having to get married sooner (because they needed to be married in order to live together in the apartment his place of work was providing), but they’re still having the ceremony in December. Just a thought.

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