Post # 1
So a little background, I have been with my BF for 3 1/2 years. We talk about marriage a lot, it just isn’t quite the time for us finacially. (We are still pretty young too). So I am ok with waiting to get engaged. Two of my best friends recently got engaged in the last 6 months. One is a little older than me and has only been with her FI for a little over a year. The other is younger than me and been with hers for about 2 years. They both asked me to be in thier weddings next spring, which I happily accepted. When people ask about their weddings when I am around I dred the impeding questions about why I am not engaged yet, especially because we’ve been together much longer. Between other peoples comments and both of the brides comments, it’s getting old really quick. The other night pushed it over the edge. We were all at dinner with a couple of other friends. Someone asked them when thier wedding dates are, they responded and then I was asked when mine was going to be. I just simply replied “no date anytime soon”. They then proceeded to ask me “why not, it’s not like its NOT going to happen”. Instead of me reponding, my friend answered for me, saying “She wants her OWN time, she doesn’t want to be shadowed by our weddings. I’m sure they’re waiting so they are not the THIRD wedding in 2011”. I was SHOCKED she said that. After that comment someone quickly changed the subject. I just don’t know what to do. Comments like these are getting annoying. I don’t want to rush the engagement simply to stop questions. I am happy and enjoying my time with my BF. Should I say something to my friend or just keep ignoring her snippy comments?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t say anything.
I feel for you but this isn’t about your friends it about you and you BF.
If you feel really ready then that’s what you should focus on. Your feelings, not your friends.
These girls might just be bridzillaing a bit. Its hard not to become a spoiled brat and blow your wedding completely out of proportion. Even sane people like me can catch ourselves acting bratty.
Be excited for them and do not fret. When you two are ready and your turn comes it will be just as special and very meaningful.
In the meantime if people ask you just say “we are very happy where we are right now and in no rush but when the time comes ill let you know.” Its not only classy but it speaks highly of your maturity and commitment to eachother.
Best of luck,
Post # 4
ahh got to LOVE this question. I think everyone here on the waiting boards knows how annoying that question can be!
I am in a similar boat – we are waiting for financial reasons and people don’t seem to understand why we are waiting! We were at a wedding recently (destination wedding too – so the questions got dragged out over a few days!) and every guest at the wedding was coming up to us saying “We hear you are next” even when they didn’t know us! I felt bad for my boyfriend because he has a lot of pressure on him from everyone around him (including his family now – they never used to ask him when he was going to propose) to get on with it.
There is no good way to combat this question… people will always ask. When it really gets to me I just try to remind myself that people only ask us that question because they want us to be married and believe that we are a good couple.
I wouldn’t really say anything to your friend – as Audrey said she may be in a bit of a Bridezilla mode with the focus being on HER wedding… just try to let it roll off your back as much as you can.