Post # 1
Ok we are both in our last year of college about to graduate next semester. Yay. We have been dating for 5 years and we basically know everything about each other, we are best friends 🙂
We have been talking about marriage for the past year now, and he knows a ring is important to me. I would like to get a ring and wear it till the day I die haha.
So we have been talking about budgets. My dream ring will cost about $3,000. But I don’t care how much it costs as long as it’s my style. He already has about 20K saved up from doing internships and he also works going to school full-time too. (As do I but he makes more based on his degree…) We’ve been going to jewelers looking at rings. I got really excited and he said it was cute haha.
However, now he has told me if he doesn’t get a high-paying job after graduating then he’s not going to buy me a ring at all because we have to save all our money for the future. The thing is, he still wants to get legally married in court after graduating even if he doesn’t get me a ring or fully announcing our engagement. (If we announce an engagement everybody’s going to ask me where my ring is and that’ll be awkward for me to explain).
I don’t know how i should feel……I’m a little dissapointed that I got excited about my dream ring but it might not happen…..But I know he’s just being responsible so i’m not mad…but it feels like one of my dreams has been taken away….I guess i should just be thoughtful and as long as we have each other then that’s all that matters. We will still get married without any rings because marriage is the most important part.
His sister and I were talking and she was telling me all this stuff about her ring and how its a symbol of how much her husband treasures her. I felt kind of depressed but everybody’s relationship is different I guess.
I think my boyfriend just has a different perspective.
When i think about it I get a little sad, but I just try to fill up my time and mind with studying and working. I’m a math major so it takes up a lot of my time anyways haha. I don’t like talking about it with him because he calls me materialisitic some times and that hurts my feelings
What do yall think about this?
Post # 3
Could you maybe go the Mossiy or Asha route? They are cheaper, which should make him happy, but you still get your ring.
Post # 4
I second the pp. look into cheaper stimulants that give the same look. You can always upgrade later.
Post # 5
I think he is being responsible with your money and that it is good.
But I also think that buying no ring at all is kind of extreme and you could compromise on an inexpensive ring for the moment. You are just starting out in life and have all your life in front of you… You can always buy your dream ring later in life once you’re established and the ring doesn’t cost 15% of what you own.
As for people telling you that the ring shows that he treasures you… I personally think it’s a load of crap – sorry. He treasures you enough to save money to ensure you have a nice life and savings. That’s what makes for a happy future together!
Seriously, talk to him and agree together on a compromise ring if you don’t get high paying jobs.
(And by the way, both my DH and I have high paying jobs and my e-ring, wedding set and his wedding ring all together cost less than 1000$. We have a very happy marriage and he treasures me plenty! Cars and house are almost paid off and we can afford for me to be a Stay-At-Home Mom and fulfill this dream of mine. Plus, we travel a lot and make great memories.. I see plenty of people with rings “better” than mine, but I can assure you that I wouldn’t be happier with something similar)
Post # 6
Do YOU want to get legally married in court after graduation without announcing your engagement to people? That sounds sad to me. If I were getting married, I’d want everyone to know, ring or no ring. It wouldn’t be that awkward to explain. The ring can come later when you’re more established in your careers and earning more money.
Post # 7
That would actually piss me off! A ring is important to you, so it should be important to him. Period.
Post # 8
His sister is silly…an engagement ring has nothing to do with how much you’re treasured. It’s a symbol to the rest of the world that you’re betrothed. I think your boyfriend has a good head on his shoulders.
Also, you might want to lower your expectations a little bit and get what you can really afford righ tnow. Plan on getting the “dream ring” when you’re more financially stable. 🙂
Post # 9
Etsy has a lot of cheaper options that are under 1K, some of them are even diamonds. You could always get your “dream ring” for a 5 or 10 year anniversary present. But I agree with stillme
that you should think about what you want and are happy with. Also, talk to your parents. At first I didn’t think mine would pay for a wedding, but when I sat down and talked with them, they wouldn’t think of anything else. So just talk to your SO, tell him what you want, and then ask him the same. Hugs!
Post # 10
Thank for your replies ladies 🙂
but I don’t want an upgrade ring. Also I don’t want a diamond. I wanted ruby or sapphire because they are almost as hard as a diamond but colorful. I don’t even want a huge stone 0.5 carat is good. I want to wear the engagement ring I recieve forever 🙂
Post # 11
Why not just put off getting married until he gets a job? Once he finds a good job, he can buy you the ring and you two can plan the wedding you want.
Post # 12
I bet you can do that ring for less than 3k. Have you heard about the Pricescope forum? They mainly deal with diamonds, but there’s a section for gemstones. People over there are super knowledgable about jewelry and can help you find the best deal possible.
When my Fiance and I started looking at rings, I was skeptical about buying an engagment ring on the internet. However, when we started comparing the prices, buying online is ridiculously cheaper than buying a ring at a mall store or another brick and mortar store.
Post # 13
Post # 14
You could also try Overstock.
Post # 15
He has a point about saving money for the future, but nothing at all is too extreme. You two should be able to work out some sort of compromise here since you really want one. Are you getting the type or engagement and wedding you want?
Post # 16
I think you should be honest with him about wanting a ring. Maybe let him read your post so he understands if you have a hard time explaining. But you should be able to be honest with your feelings.