(Closed) Not telling people sucks

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@bluewolverine: We just told my parents this weekend after having our first u/s appointment. I know it’s hard to keep it a secret, but we just wanted to make sure everything was progressing as it should. I’m 8 weeks now. We plan to start telling friends in early June after we pass the 12 week point. Of course my mom is now chomping at the bit to tell her friends, but I’ve sworn her to secrecy for now! Congrats on your BFP!!!

Post # 4
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My husband did a lot of “drinking for two” when we weren’t telling people. I would order a beer (in a bottle) and just pretend to sip it, and then my husband and I would switch drinks once he was done. Or we would go to a bar, and my husband would order me a club soda with lime in a cocktail glass that looked like a vodka soda at the bar where no one could see what he was doing. Or I would order a glass of wine and just not drink it- no one ever noticed.

If you think you can’t get away with it, then you might have to pass on some opportunities, but we were able to hide it for the most part.

Post # 5
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

So hard not to tell folks. I’m very early it about 4 and half weeks. I know early dur to IF treatment, we did tell our parents and a few folks who know that we were undergoing treatment. I can’t wait for the ultrasound to be able to let more folks know. Hubs is chafing at the bit to yell it to the world, but I don’t want to tell too many folks too soon.

Post # 6
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@Miss Root: My husband did the same for me! It was more obvious that I wasn’t drinking than if I woudl pretend to drink. Only one good friend caught on, but we absolutely wanted to keep this to ourselves given our past history. 

It’s also frustrating when people are looking for it and call you out on it. I had a friend do that with my first pregnancy. It wasn’t someone who I really wanted to know either. When I lost the baby, she basically just brushed it off and said that there must have been something wrong with it. That just saddened me more that she would think that I wouldn’t want a child if it wasn’t perfect. So, there are pros and cons of telling early. Just be sure that you’re telling the people who you would tell if there were something that happened so that they can be supportive!

Post # 8
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

This weekend was our first time out with friends since we had our BFP, and it was a challenge.  Darling Husband is going to be doing a lot of drinking for two – we’ve been using that as our excuse, that I’m the Dirty Delete, and can’t drink. 

The only time anyone has guessed so far (and I vehemently denied it out loud) was this morning during an assembly at school.  I had a huge dizzy spell, and had to sit down.  Another teacher saw me, and immediately blurted out “Are you pregnant?”.  Luckily, she whispered it, since we were in an assembly, but still… It’s going to be a tough couple of months. 

Post # 9
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I have been DYING to tell people too! we did tell our parents (mostly because i tell my mother everything and would absolutely want her there IF, god forbid, something were to happen) We are waiting until at least 8 weeks to tell our siblings. Mostly because they are all coming down for memorial day weekend and I know once they see me without a drink they will know. Everyone else will have to wait til 12 weeks.

Post # 10
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@bluewolverine:  Haha…my Darling Husband said the same thing! I’m basically his Dirty Delete for the next 5 months!

Post # 11
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I drank a lot of “vodka and cranberry” or “vodka and soda” in the beginning. We would try to get to things early and order drinks before people showed up so that I could order a faux drink that was really something else. 

Post # 12
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Don’t people know better than to ask?? I’m not pregnant, or TTC yet, but I’m already making plans for how to avoid the topic. I’d like to think most of my friends would maybe silently think it but not call me out on it. But I get migraines, so I already have a plan for if people ask about it. 

I will tell my sister immediately though. She told me about 7 hours after she found out she was pregnant, and I’ll do the same, I’m sure. But she is the person I would want by my side no matter what happens (besides H of course). My parents will have to wait a few weeks, then the rest of my siblings would be close after.

Post # 14
24 posts
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m 5 weeks pregnant and it is driving me nuts not to tell everyone, but I know so many women who had miscarriages in the first 10 or 12 weeks, so I’m being responsible and not talking about it except to our besties and our immediate families and ym dissertation advisor, but it is HARD.

Post # 15
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

i just got my BFP yesterday and i’m already wondering how we’re going to keep it from people. i’m not shy about heavy pours when we’re drinking wine/margaritas with our neighbors. Darling Husband even joked that we’re going to have to tell our neighbors before anyone else because they will figure it out anyway!

Post # 16
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you order something like cranberry juice or sparkling soda, people will assume your drinking. Juice is good for you anyway!

Congrats! I know it’s hard to wait and keep this kind of secret, good luck to you!

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