(Closed) Not that close to dad

posted 8 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 3
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I feel you, but I lived with my dad! Step-dad actually, but he’s been in the picture since I was 3. I love him and all, but we’re not close, he’s way closer with my younger half-sister. But I don’t know how to tell him I don’t want to dance with him =/

Post # 4
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

In the same boat. Step dad has treated me like his own since 2&1/2 years old. He’s closer to my younger half-sister (They are blood related, so this doesn’t surprise me) but I think the dance is going to be so akward!!

Um… @danielle.leann: and I have almost exactly the same story. Small world!

Post # 5
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I feel the same way. My dad and I have never been close. My parents got divorced 2 years ago and i havnt seen him in about a year. He is much closer to my younger sister. The only thing is they live in SC and my sister is gay. So im the only daughter who he would have the chance to do all the wedding stuff with. I already know I want my mom to walk me down the aisle.

 

Post # 6
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I totally feel this way, too. I am not having the father-daughter dance. It’s a casual beach wedding and I just am not that close to him anyway. My mother died 9 years ago and to be honest, he was never really there for me at all. I have to call him, he never calls me. I feel like I have tried to have a relationship with him and it’s always me making the effort. He is going to walk me down the aisle though.

Post # 7
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You described my relationship with my dad to a T. I’m not doing a father-daughter dance with him nor is he walking me down the aisle. I’m reserving that honor for both my mom and my grandma. Although I’m still going to invite him to the wedding, mostly because both my grandma and aunt feel like he just never knew how to be a good dad but he is still my father. I never talk to him and only see him 2x a year.

 

Is there a reason why you feel like you have to? Are there other members of your family that you are closer to that you can dance with?

Post # 8
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I really would rather not have my step father walk me down the aisle but I know it will crush him. He’s been in my life since I was about 6 but I just don’t think of him as being my father. I feel very conflicted about this.

Post # 9
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My father and I aren’t close and I really hope he can’t come to the wedding.  I am not planninga dance with him but then I wonder how weird it would be… I just don’t know.

Post # 10
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

I hear you. My dad and I are not close. Initially, I was not having a wedding, but now since I am, I’ve made adjustments to the traditional events of the wedding to make me and my Fiance happy.  I did not grow up in my father’s house.  He will walk me down the aisle, however, we will omit the question, “who gives this woman to this man?”.  He lost that rite.  Also, there will not be a father/daughter dance.  My Fiance lost his mother so there will only be our first dance and then open the floor for whomever.  I would like my dad present at my marriage celebration, but the relationship is not there for him to engage in all the rights and privilege a father has at his daughter’s wedding. 

Post # 11
Hostess
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

If you don’t feel comfortable dancing with him, why do it? Or maybe you could split up the song so you dance with your dad first, then your mom?

Post # 12
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@AlwaysSunny: Agreed. Why do it if you don’t want to? And splitting the song is a good idea, too. Minimize the period of awkwardness.

My dad and I are not close. In fact I wavered for a while on whether I would even invite him to the wedding. He is not walking me down the aisle (I’m walking alone). It’s my wedding day and I refuse to do something to make myself uncomfortable or throw a shadow over the day.  Having him walk me down the aisle or reserve a special dance just for him implies that we have a good relationship, when the reality is exactly the opposite. I want to be able to look back on my wedding day and feel that it was an honest and genuine representation of my Fiance and me. Giving my dad a role he doesn’t deserve is neither honest nor genuine.

Just my .02 cents!

Post # 13
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Who says you have to have a father-daughter dance? You can totally skip all that if that will be awkward. I am in the same boat, not very close to my dad or step-dad. The only traditional dancing we will be doing in the reception is the couple’s first dance. 

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