Member@PixelMePretty: That’s me minus a child…I’d like to have 40,000 too. To spend on my wedding, I would probably end up not even spending even close to that. Beings that I know what I want. SIMPLE. Good Luck with your plans!
MemberMember@2bedaugherty: I have our invitations finished already I just have to find the venue to put on the invites. I really think we’ll be alright. It seems that I’m cutting costs just like you are. Only we can’t really do pot luck because all of our guests are coming from out of state ( we just moved here) and I think that platters of sandwitches, cheeses and such things like that would be just fine for my family.
I am really thinking of going to a store and just picking out some butter cream cakes and that’s the end of it. I don’t want anything really special for our wedding cake anyways. (he cares, just not about the little things….he cares about how much it’s going to cost and if i’m happy.)
I suppose we just have to designate the things for each person to do. That way it’s more organized and we won’t have to worry about anything.
I’m a pretty artistic person, I plan on doing ALOT of DIY stuff myself, Plus, I think that my family and friends would think it’s more us.
My fiance and I just want to have family and friends, as if it was a reunion only we’re celebrating our love. It’s going to be great, I just worry ALOT TOO!
MemberThere are a million historical homes in MA that host weddings – and especially if your date is in November, like your profile says, you’d get a good deal at those. Most let you bring in your own food/catering. I’d start there. You could have a lovely ceremony in one of their grand rooms, and have a mingle-type of reception with lots of appitizers like you’ve described. It would give your out-of-town guests a real “New England” experience without breaking the bank.
And, I second the previous posters – no need to tear down other bride’s budgets. I went through 10 years of college and grad school to get my job, likewise with my Fiance. We really earned the right to have a $30,000 celebration, and are proud of our wedding.
Member@eimaj111683: most welcome! and thanks! so far, I’ve managed to not feel overwhelmed. (that’ll change the closer I get to the wedding, though! LOL!)
I’m typically not that organized, though I try to be. Having two young kids tend to make that happen, lol.
Once I actually sat down with my Fiance and talked about what we want/don’t want, and wrote it down as we went, it helped pull everything together. It also will force you to stay within your budget (I have a habit of going overboard with stuff… I blame my mother.)
You might also want to look around for the lists of things to do leading up to the wedding. I printed out a bunch of them and keep checking them to see if I’ve missed anything and to try and stay on track. If you’re having a formal wedding, it’s a HUGE help!
For what it’s worth, I have to agree with not wanting to spend a fortune on a wedding. If others want to, great. but personally? not us. not for a one-day-only event. week-long event? maybe. but we’d rather spend the 20k+ on a house or a vechile or something a bit more substantial than a few-hour/day-long event. I am NOT saying others shouldn’t do it; I’m just saying it’s not for me and my Fiance feels the same.
Member
Member@eimaj111683: I think weddings are just like anything else. Some people drive kias and some people drive BMWs. takes all kinds 🙂
MemberYou’ll be surprised on how fast $40,000 can add up for a wedding (Yes, I’m having one of those “BIG” weddings). It all depends on what you want. We didnt’ go into it thinking we’re going to spend that much but Fiance wanted certian things that he was not willing to sacfrice on (open bar, wine service, platinum rings) and I wanted certain things (big dress, photographer) so the money we could have saved for our down payment is going into the wedding. Plus my brother tried to do his cheaply and even after spending $20K people left early because there was no DJ or open bar to keep people entertained and I think it factored into why we’re willing to spend more. Is it wise? no, but do we regret it? not yet at least 
MemberWe did ours for under $3000 (including the honeymoon). Granted, it wasn’t the most glamorous wedding (and there are a few things I might have done differently, looking back), but we rented a church hall for the reception and just did cake and desserts instead of a full meal, which cut down costs A LOT.I sometimes regret not spending more and doing a meal (plus we didn’t have a DJ and a lot of the traditional reception things — the first dance, speeches, boquet toss, etc. — just didn’t happen because we either didn’t have time to do them ourselves or we just plain forgot :-P), but at the end of the day we were married and it’s all good 🙂
Here’s the breakdown of how we did it:
Total Wedding Costs: $2936
Wedding:
Total: $1985
Location – Side Cut Metropark – $50
Back-up location – Washington Church – $100
Sound System – Washington Church – free
Flowers (Anstead-Shuster Florist) – $144 (I just bought flowers and then arranged them myself)
Floral Tape (Jo-Ann Fabrics) – $4
Candles (Wal-Mart) – $5
Candlesticks (Salvation Army Thrift Store)- $1
Communion Cup (Salvation Army Thrift Store) – $1
Dress (Weddingbee.com Classifieds) – $320
Alteration Supplies (Jo-Ann Fabrics) – $20 (my friend’s mom did the alterations for me, which was one of my regrets — it still didn’t fit quite right :-P. If I had it to do over, I’d go with professional alterations, despite the higher costs).
Bridal Jewelry (Icing by Claires) – $9
Bridesmaid/Flower Girl Jewelry (Jo-Ann Fabrics) – $14
Hair Flower (Jo-Ann Fabrics/Hobby Lobby) – $5
Hair/Makeup Supplies (Rite Aid) – $29 (a friend of mine did my makeup and hair)
Shoes (Target) – $20
Flower girl dresses – Free (the girls actually had the dresses already from a cancelled wedding and their mom asked if they could wear them. Sure!)
Ring bearer outfit (Target/Goodwill)– $7
Rehearsal Dress (Goodwill) – $5
Rings – mine: $150, Derek’s: $468 (this doesn’t include my engagment ring, just the wedding bands)
Dry Cleaning – $54
Marriage License – $50
Photographer – Lisa – $250 (an old friend of my husbands who had just started her photography business, so we got an incredible deal!)
Minister – George Williams – free
Musicians – Jeff and Kristina – free
Rehearsal dinner – George and Sarah
Paper for invitations (Michael’s)- $16
Envelopes (Office Depot) – $23
Postage – $77
Thank you gift cards (Wal-Mart) – $99 (for some of our friends who offered their services to us for free)
Lunch for wedding Party (Subway) – $40
Bachelor Party – $24
Reception:
Total: $304
Location – Pilgrim Church – $200
Cake – Shelly — Free (a friend made our cake. We planned on paying her, but in the end she wouldn’t let us. Another blessing)
Other Desserts – Free (my mom and some friends made them)
Punch/Coffee – $83?
Plates/silverware/napkins/cups/etc. – My mom
Decorations – My mom
Guest book (Borders) – $21
Honeymoon:
Total: $647
Yesteryear Log Cabins – $318
Car Rental – Free
Oil Change (Wal-Mart) – $38
Car Wash (Russ’ Auto Wash) – $3
Gas – $47
Groceries/Supplies – $170
Eating Out – $51
Shedel Gardens – $20
Member@CorgiTales: exactly! it’s a matter of “to each his own”!
my biggest gripe is people who go in debt over a wedding. ummm… huh? could someone explain this please? WHY do you want to go in debt my thousands of dollars? if you can afford it, that’s one thing… but if it’s out of your means? WHY?!?!? bragging rights? because you can?
can anyone explain this??? ’cause, I don’t think anyone here is doing something like that. if you are, apologies, but I just don’t understand it! please explain it to me!!!!
Member@MaybeeBecca:Sounds so simple and affordable. Congrats
MemberI agree that no one should go into debt over a wedding, but there are plenty of places in this country where $40k gets you a pretty “standard” wedding, so I’d be cautious about making generalizations. And not everyone who has “one of those” weddings have family to pay for it. Personally, I grew up very poor without parents and have had no one to help my fiance and I pay for our wedding. It hurts my feelings when i hear people generalize like that. I would rather have my wedding than a new car, anyway
That said, I think a wedding for $5k is completely doable and the ladies here have given you very good advice – keep the guest list intimate, cut out all unnecessaries, try a Friday/Sunday/or even Thursday night, look at pre-owned dresses (Plenty of people sell their affordable gowns after the wedding for even less $$$ – you can score a gorgeous dress for $200), etc. Do you have an ipod? Look for a restaurant that has speakers installed and can run your music through them – instant DJ! Spend a few hundred on a video camera and have a friend tape the ceremony – instant videographer and you get something you can use after the wedding. Look for a photographer just starting out on Craigslist. I’m sure there are more ideas coming your way, so best of luck to you with the planning!
Member@Zinzerena: I don’t understand either. But then again there are those bridezillas out there that what what THEY want and will do anything to get what THEY want! So, they end up getting their own way, even if that means over budget.
MemberWhere in Ohio are you? There’s a lot of nice parks that you can have it that are inexpensive.
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