(Closed) Not Thrilled Over FMIL's Dress

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

They are adults and can wear whatever color they choose. The bright red will actually look fine with the deeper shade of red, and it was probably tough for her to find a dress she likes. And really, what is more important, for your FI’s mother to be in the pictures, or to keep her dress out of them? How would you feel if he told you he wanted your mother to be in as few pictures as possible?

Post # 4
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’d hardly call the color of her dress an issue of “ethics.”

I think that it’s a silly thing to conern yourself with, honestly.

Post # 5
Member
3887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Your FMIL is a grown woman and is capable of dressing herself.  The vast majority of people won’t even notice what she’s wearing, and if she wears something completely outrageous, that reflects on her, not on you.  She will in no way take attention away from you and she’s not going to be the “center” of the photos unless you’ve hired a Pamplona bull to do your photography.  I think you need to just let this go. As long as she doesn’t plan to show up in an actual wedding dress, then you really can’t tell her what to wear.

Post # 6
Member
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I understand how you feel.  My FMIL is considering wearing red (mind you this is more for cultural reasons than wanting to look like a smoke show, plus she is older and it will likely be a very conservative outfit). But still, like you I was feeling a little upset at the thought of us all matching/coordinating and her alone wearing red.

However at the end of the day it isn’t worth a fight/tension esp right before the wedding. All eyes will be on you as the bride no matter what, and your pictures will still turn out great.

There are worse things that could happen so don’t stress!

 

Post # 7
Member
5774 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Unless she’s wearing a wedding dress she won’t be the “center” of every photo. Take a deep breath and let this one go, so not a big deal.

Post # 10
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

she can wear what she wants, who cares. 

First you can’t wear white, ivory, champagne, beige or light pastel colors, now add in red. What CAN they wear?!

Post # 11
Member
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’ve never heard that red was a taboo color to wear at a wedding.

She probably spent a lot of time looking for a dress that she liked that she thought looked good on her.  She can’t be faulted for wanting to look and feel her best for her son’s wedding.

@MeiFrancis:  +1

Post # 13
Member
1809 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@dragonlover:  I guess during wedding planning we can get kinda crazy but I think this is a little much. She’s a grown woman, she can wear what she wants and you’re the bride you’ll be center of attention. My moms walking me down the aisle and my colors are lavendar and grey. When she went shopping the only dress she liked was blue, no where in my wedding is there blue but she feels pretty and that’s all that matters

Post # 14
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ugh – so frusterating! I would be miffed too, especially since you talked with ther about what colors to wear and red wasn’t one of them.

You are not alone in this dress code either – I would NEVER consider wearing white or red to a wedding! Those are the 2 colors you should definately stay away from when going to someone else’s wedding.

Post # 16
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@dragonlover:  I think I’ve seen a thread on WB for a bride being upset about their FMIL’s dress being just about every possible color.

It will be fine – no one will really notice. And if it’s inappropriate, they’ll look at her like WTF, not you. 

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