(Closed) Not tttc before wedding but he cum’s anyway

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If you’re sure you’re not ready to TTC, I wouldn’t use the pull out method.

Post # 4
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would be upset because it is something that would have been done when there was a clear understanding.  It’s especially important to have complete trust and communication when it comes to intimacy.  That is when a person is the most vulnerable.  I think you should have a conversation with your Fiance about his feelings on the issue and to understand why he chose to do that in the moment.  

 

Post # 5
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@strawbabies:  I agree.  Statistically its one of the least effective when it comes to preventing pregnancy.

Post # 6
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The pull out method is completely ineffective, if you’re not ready to start ttc you need to be proactive about it and either have him put on a condom or get yourself on birth control. Neither one of you are being at all safe here, in the heat of the moment it can be really hard to stop or pull out, that coupled with the fact that it doesn’t even work…just please get yourself on birth control!

Post # 7
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

The pull out method is extremely unreliable. He literally may not have been able to stop. Like when someone puts cheesecake in front of me. I recommend condoms or bcp if you truly aren’t ready to TTC yet. 

Also, it takes couples on average something like 8 months to conceive, so one month might not make too much of a difference. 

Post # 8
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well, if someone called the police where I live and complained that their partner did not use their preferred and communicated method of protection/birth control it has to be investigated as a criminal sexual assault. 

That said, it sounds like you guys need to have an open and honest communication about how you’ll conduct yourselves in the bedroom and how close is too close to your wedding to be NTNT conceive.

Like the PP said, if NOT getting pregnant is important to you, I’d use something a little more effective than the pull out method.

 

Post # 9
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

No I’m sorry, you don’t have a right to be upset. I’m not trying to pile on you, it’s just if you don’t want to be pregnant you need to be responsible as well. Sex Ed 101 in school will tell you the pull out method puts you at risk.

Post # 10
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would be pissed!

 

Post # 12
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I can understand you would be upset, but I’m going to echo the PPs… You need to make sure that you are taking care of YOUR reproductive needs.  Use another method of more reliable birth control.  I’ve had too many acquaintances conceive on the pull out method. 

Post # 13
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would be upset.  That was a violation of trust. 

Post # 15
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@Stassney: it gets a bad rap because in the heat of the moment, you can’t always depend on the man to pull out. 

OP, if you didn’t want to TTC for another month, I don’t understand why you didn’t just wait a month to go off birth control. 

Post # 16
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sorry that article is not convincing. If I’m trying to prevent a pregnancy; this method would be dead last on my list.

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