(Closed) Not wanting to waste my money on one day

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@LB1989: Do what you both want. Ultimately it’s about you and your Fiance coming together for the rest of your lives. It will be special no matter where it happens. Maybe you could have some sort of party afterward for close friends and family? Like a backyard BBQ, or something equally low key?

And if people can’t understand why you’re not having a big wedding to-do…poo  on them 🙂

Post # 4
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am the SAME way.  I think it’s SMART!!!  It’s not even 1 day, when we started pricing venues they were quoting for 4 or 5 hours with extra $$$ for additional hours.  No way am I interested in paying $10,000s on those few hours. 

Just do the best you can to budget your money where you can.  If the venues are expensive in your town, there’s really no way around that.  But other things like flowers, food and drinks, paper, attire, vendors…things like that can be done on a budget!! 

Post # 5
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

This is exactly how I feel. I absolutely love weddings but I don’t know that it’s really worth it to me to have a big wedding right now. We’d have to pay for it ourselves and it’s not like we’re rolling around in all our extra cash. It’s just hard on one hand to not have that experience, but on the other hand spending that much money on one day really bothers me. *sigh

Post # 7
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

We are spending 5,000. You could aregue that it’s a waste of 5,000, or you could applaud my thrift. It comes donw to what you are comfortable spending for the experience.

Post # 8
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

How about a very small wedding (like just family) and your parents throw a reception for everyone else?  That way, everyone is included in the celebration, they can still contribute and the cost will be MUCH less.  You will also have the same photographs, etc as if you had a large wedding.  I am also an only child getting married in a small college town and we are just doing the least amount we can spend and still have it feel like a wedding.

Post # 9
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I felt the same way, but 3 months into planning, I’m really happy I’m having a real wedding.

1. It brought me even closer with Mom, Future Mother-In-Law, and bridesmaids

2. I will get to see some people I haven’t seen in a long time. These include relatives and good friends who moved away.

3. Professional photos!!! Fiance and I never got professional photos taken, and our engagement photos were so wonderful. We have so few pictures of just us looking like we’re in love (not just looking at the camera).

4. It’s not really for 1 day, because the anticipation and planning is also a part of the wedding experience.

Post # 10
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I completely understand! It’s possible to have a wedding on a seriously tight budget. I will tell you, it takes a lot more research to find the best deals, lots of creativity, and a little bit of compromise. But the good news is, it’s possible!

Post # 11
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Do you have any land with the house you plan on buying? Or a big back yard? You could really make it a celebration of you and your Fiance coming together if you could have the wedding at the place you bought together! Plus that would cut back significantly on the venue. And there are tons of great things you can do with a backyard wedding without breaking the bank.

 

Post # 12
Member
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I struggled with this a LOT during the entire process. After all is said and done am I glad we spent the money? Yes and no. It was a wonderful wedding. However, what I’ve come to realize is that it would have been wonderful no matter what. I married my best friend after all. The ceremony was my favorite part because I felt like it was such a special and spiritual time. Do I wish we had some of the money for a house downpayment? Yes. Do I feel like it was a TON of money to spend on one day? Without a doubt. But it’s a memory that will last a lifetime 🙂 But, let me tell you, spending the $$$ on the honeymoon was the best idea ever! It was beyond worth it for a special honeymoon in Jamaica where we were pampered for a week.

Post # 13
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I felt the exact same way. We weren’t buying a house at the time but we were both starting school and we have two young children together. We kept discussing how to spend the least amount of money and still have it not as hokey as his sisters backyard wedding (NOT knocking backyard weddings-this is what we were leaning towards but that one was not good. seriously. just bad…)  We finally decided to not do any of it. He called the courthouse on a Tuesday afternoon while I was at work to schedule it, we went up on Wednesday morning with my sister, my nephew, his best friend, and our girls and got married in jeans! It was perfect. He was holding our oldest daughter, our youngest and my nephew were running around and playing, and the only person I saw was him. I would have never had that moment if we would have done the big wedding. I am way too nervous to be the center of attention and I know that I would have never enjoyed the big wedding. FWIW- we were engaged longer than you!!!! Almost 5 years!!  Smile

Post # 14
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I definitely felt the same way as well and I went back and forth at the beginning stages of planning. Should I scale it down a bit? Should I just do a destination wedding? In the end, I decided that I want the “fairytale wedding”. I have dreamed of this for a very long time and so for US, it’s worth it. If we couldn’t afford to do it then we definitely wouldn’t but we are in a good place and I don’t want to look back years later and say “I wish I would have”….

No matter what you decide, there is no right or wrong answer/choice. You do what’s best for you and your Fiance.

Good Luck to you with the wedding and the offer you are putting down on the house!

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