(Closed) Not what I thought being engaged would be like…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

@MrsReidizzle:  I can totally relate to what you are talking about.  I got engaged back in October (I’m in my 40’s and this is my first marriage, so it’s a big deal to me). As I started making plans, I just felt like no one in my family was interested and the women in my family didn’t seem too interested either.  People even made comments that they were suprised that someone of “my age” would even be throwing a wedding.  I started to question why I was even doing it…but then I realized that I do have friends who are helping and happy to do it, and I needed to focus on them and let the rest go.  Just let yourself enjoy this for you and your Fiance because you’ll only have this one chance at it!  I finally realized that not everyone is going to celebrate me and that’s okay, I can celebrate myself!  Have fun and I wish you the best!  🙂 

Post # 4
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m really sorry to hear that!! If you want opinions on decisions or anything the bees are more than happy to respond!  Don’t worry about venting – that’s what we’re here for.  I am glad my maid of honor is happy to be involved, because without that… yeah, it’d just be me and my crazy self.  I’m in grad school too, with an internship, so I know you have a TON going on! Luckily it sounds lilke a lot of your major planning is done.  But really, programs, flowers, shoes, whatever — check in, I know you’d get tons of opinions of people just as excited about weddings as you should be able to be 🙂

Post # 5
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsReidizzle:  This is something that I am learning to accept in some way in my own situation. I have always been super excited and involved in my friends weddings. Most of my close friends are all married, I guess I’m not a super young bride (28) but I am feeling like everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives that I (and my FI) are the only ones who seem to care about the wedding. It’s a bit disheartening because I want people to show a bit more interest in it, but they don’t seem to. I guess it’s a choice you have to (and I have to!) make to try to not let it get to you, people in general area quite wrapped up in themselves and so it’s not uncommon (sadly) to feel like you’re doing it alone…all I can say is thank God for this forum!!! Even though the girls in here can’t help you prepare physically – it’s a huge support to know that people are here and interested in what you are going through. At the end of the day, you get to marry your prince & that is all that really matters.

Post # 7
Member
286 posts
Helper bee

@MrsReidizzle:  i’ve been completely alone too. i’ve lived in this city for two years & have no friends. i didn’t really have any in my hometown either. i have my mom & future SIL. that’s all. luckily the SO is there some times but he’s like any other guy when it comes to this stuff.

*hugs* i know how you feel!

Post # 8
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am sorry that you are going through this but I totally empathize. I do not have any girlfriends really, most of them are family and even they are pretty absent. I live an hour away from all my family/friends but with Fiance. My mother is from a different country and although is happy I am getting married she does not understand everything that needs to be done with the wedding and so it is tough to ask her for opinions  on certain things. My only blood sister is too busy with school and has shown only little interest in me getting married. All my other bridesmaids I chose because they are important people to me but we barely talk more than once a month. I have also found it very lonely and bit depressing but I can’t expect everyone else to jump for joy as much as me. They have their own lives and own issues and things going on. So I consult with Fiance as much as he can stand lol and visit the bee a lot, even just to read the posts. But mostly I am planning and celebrating by myself lol, I guess I just kind of got use to it although I get a little upset from time to time. Dont forget that you can always share things with us! I know it will be tough to try and get stuff done with your busy schedule but you can do it!

 

Post # 9
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

@MrsReidizzle:  I have also found that as the wedding gets a little closer, people seem to be a little more interested. The other thing I had to let go of from the begining was worrying about who will attend and who won’t.  I’m not going to get all stressed out because I feel certain people “should” be there and aren’t.  The people who can make it will, and those who can’t will not, I have no control over it, so I won’t stress over it.  

Post # 10
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@MrsReidizzle : Hey girl! I wish I’m in the same town as you so that I could lend you a hand! It’s definitely not much fun trying out dresses by yourself! All my close gfs are super far away so I had my man to accompany me to visit all the bridal stores and snap pictures as well. 

I hope your sis or mum could schedule a weekend to go wedding dress shopping with you! Have you decided on your MOH? It is true that guys are pretty much hands off when it comes to events- coz they think they might end up something that we don’t like at all. I’m also doing most of the research and planning on my own. Perhaps you could post a shout out on facebook and see who responds? With such busy schedule, perhaps you could consider engaging a wedding planner? If you need to rant, we are always here! 

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