- 11 years ago
So, the other day I showed BF my wish list that he had sorta asked for (see here for details) He laughed at all the silly stuff, and kinda said ‘yeah, okay’ type remarks to all the normal stuff, but then when he got to the sparkly pics, he said, “And I’d love to get you a ring baby, but I just can’t afford it right now.” –my heart sank, and I think I died a little inside, but I kept my poker face on–So then I laughingly and sarcastically said, “Well, what about the sports car? That’s doable, right?” lol
Anyway, I got really sad and moped around for the next 24 hours. Sadness turned into anger and resentment, really fast. I was fuming, and felt guilty for being selfish, but then again, why shouldn’t I be selfish? This is my/our happiness we’re talking about, and I have every right to have some say so in it! I was torn for a while, wanting to say to him something along the lines of, “So, what, the brand new TV that you bought a few months back is good enough to put on the credit card, but I’M not good enough for you to buy a ring on the credit card?!?!?” Buuuut, I did NOT say that, even though that’s how I felt. Thank God, I distracted myself with enough things/activities/errands that I mellowed out so I didn’t have the urge to say that anymore. Adding to the sadness and frustration is realizing the fact that something as stupid as finances (or lack thereof) is holding us back. It blows.
So instead, after alot of careful thought, I’ve decided on two things. First, that I’m going to say this to him: “Baby, can you make me a promise? When we get our tax refund this coming year, can we put aside some of it, and put it towards getting married?” I don’t intend to use the words ‘ring’, ‘propose’, or ‘wedding’, but simply ‘getting married.’ (Hopefully emphasizing that what I want the most is the commitment, and I’m not after a huge rock or ridiculously big party) The second thing I’ve decided on is that I’m gonna take a break from the blog and all the other wedding related sections on the Bee, and just restrict myself to the waiting boards. It’s just so much torture reading all the posts about planning and all the proposal stories. So don’t be surprised, ladies, if it seems like my posts/replies are less frequent than normal. I’m not gone, just taking a breather, and seriously cutting back on my Wedding Bee obsession, lol!
Of course, I love feedback from the hive, so give it to me straight, girls! Lemme have it, lol!