Post # 1
SO has been telling me for weeks that he’s bought me something sparkly for Christmas. When we went to the jewelry store to buy a gift for my sister, I saw a lovely bracelet which I liked but SO refused to buy it, saying he’d already bought me something sparkly which is made of gold, and he’s mentioned it over and over again. I’ve been all excited thinking it might be a ring, but if not then I’d still be receiving a lovely piece of jewelry.
He bought me a special dress to wear out to dinner on Christmas Eve… but he didn’t propose. I thought he must be saving it for the big day. On Christmas morning I excitedly opened my presents… and the “something sparkly” he was referring to was a bottle of Goldschlager schnapps with gold flakes floating in the drink.
He thought it was hilarious but I was really upset and thought it was cruel. He purposely led me to believe it was a nice gift of jewelry and all the time he was just winding me up. He could see I was upset, so he said “You convinced yourself it was a ring – I never said it!” So he knew I was expecting it to be a ring or jewelry and he knew I’d be be disappointed but he still didn’t set me straight.
For some reason I still thought he was kidding, just playing a joke and he had the real “something sparkly” hidden somewhere. I didn’t think he could really be so cruel as to convince me he’d bought jewelry when it was just gold schnapps. I thought he’d hidden the ring in my cracker at the dinner table. I thought he’d asked his parents to wrap the ring up so I’d be surprised when I opened my gift from them. I thought he’d whip it out when we were having drinks after our lovely family dinner. Nope – he had genuinely spent weeks winding me up about “something sparkly” and then given me gold schnapps.
I’m still very upset, though I’ve given up mentioning it to him and he thinks everything is fine now. I can’t believe he would purposely hurt and disappoint me like that… but he did
Post # 3
Aww, I’m sorry! While I think what he did was cruel, I don’t think he was intending to hurt you. Like you said, he thought it was funny. I don’t think he was trying to hurt you. Once you calm down a bit, though, I’d mention to him that you thought toying with your emotions like that was out of line, and you’d like an apology…
Post # 4
I would be so angry!! Does he do things like this often?
Post # 5
That sucks!! Guys are often morons and dont get these things. I dont think he meant any harm in it. He’s just being clueless.
Post # 6
What a jerk, he owes you an apology! I would be furious if my SO pulled something like that, jokes at a partner’s expense over something that’s so important are not cool and he should know better.
Post # 7
To be fair, SO is a nice guy and very generous. He’d already bought me a silver bangle, which is why he didn’t want to buy the bracelet I saw in the store, and he bought me lots of other non-jewelry stuff too. But telling me he’d bought “something sparkly which is made out of gold” hints at expensive jewelry with sparkly diamonds or gems of some kind, possibly even an engagement ring as he knows I’m waiting for one.
I didn’t say that I was expecting a ring, I just started to cry when I unwrapped the gold schnapps and he said “Something sparkly and gold, hahaha!” He knew he was purposely leading me to believe it was a ring, or else he wouldn’t have responded to my tears with “I never said it was a ring – you convinced yourself”. Because I hadn’t mentioned that I was expecting a ring!
It probably is just a case of him being insensitive and thinking it was a joke, not understanding that I’d be genuinely disappointed and hurt. It just seems really cruel and I’m still upset
Post # 8
Sorry, but if he got pleasure out of doing that to you, he’s an ass. That was cruel.
Post # 9
PP hit on what I was saying – some men don’t realize how important marriage is to their women. They don’t understand “waiting” because they aren’t waiting themselves!
I’m sorry this happened to you…that was really mean. 🙁
Post # 10
OH man!! 🙁 I’m so sorry to hear this. Men have really weird senses of humor – they just don’t get it sometimes.
Post # 11
@Gorjuss: payback’s a bitch. I’m sure the bees can help you come up with something to get him back.
Post # 12
He probably doesn’t understand how sensitive this subject is for you. You need to sit him down and tell him that waiting is very tough emotionally and joking around about it is extremely hurtful. Tell him that you are okay with waiting but he needs to not joke or hint about engagement until it’s actually happening.
Post # 13
@JoolyBee: Hehe. My thoughts exactly.
@Gorjuss: I wonder how he’d feel if you got all dressed up in some sexy lingerie, whipped out a bottle of lube, danced around, made him think he was in for a night of pleasure and a fabulous blow job … then go into the bathroom and return wearing flannel pajamas and your hair in curlers, cold cream all over your face (get the green stuff) and say, “Ha! I was just kiddng. Sorry.” 😉
Seriously. He was being an ass. However, if he’s not usually a total jerk then maybe he has a New Year’s Eve surprise in store for you to make up for it! 🙂
Post # 14
@Sunfire: boom, there ya go…it’s pay back time, blue balls style 🙂
Post # 15
That is VERY cruel; I can’t believe he would do that to someone he’s supposed to love. How horrible. I think you should sit him down and tell him that these are NOT the actions of someone loving, that he hurt your feelings terribly and that he’s NEVER to do it again. Ask how he’d feel if you hinted for weeks about a car and then gave him a Matchbox car and laughed about it. You have EVERY right to be incredibly hurt. This is the kind of thing that damages relationships long-term — was that his goal? Was it worth the laugh to him, knowing that it resulted in you feeling that he’s mean and untrustworthy, and that this is something you will remember him doing for years, and every time you think of it you’ll be sad and hurt? I doubt he considered all this, but it’s something he should be told so that he can grasp the enormity of what he did. If I were you I would be seriously reconsidering whether he’s the right man for you.
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center
Hit him with the cold shoulder!