(Closed) Not Yet Engaged, but Date Set?

posted 10 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Is it insane to not be engaged yet but have a date set?

    Yes, as long as you trust your S/O

    That's crazy talk!

    I've never considered it as an option...

    The ring itself shouldn't matter... as long as there's love.

  • Post # 3
    12326 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    You know you’re getting married… the ring is being made… why wait!  Ring is just the outward ‘offical’ symbol…

    Post # 4
    7039 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We had our venue deposit in, our photographer chosen, and my dress picked out before my husband asked. We had already decided to get married, but he wanted to craft an elaborate proposal (he coded an iPhone app scavenger hunt with video, puzzles, and GPS integration for it!). Since we were 11 months from our target wedding date and wanted one very specific popular venue and one very specific popular photographer, we went ahead and booked.

    Post # 6
    972 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We are in the same situation! I guess he technically proposed if you can call turning to me in bed one night and saying “I think we should starting talking about wedding dates” a proposal.
    He’s having my wedding ring and band made from some other heirloom pieces that my mother gave him. It’s not yet started, so I’m not sure if I will get it before November, but if I don’t then seeing it for the first time when he puts it on my finger will do just fine! I like surprises! I’m secretly hoping it’s done before and he has an elaborate proposal planned, but I doubt it! lol.

    Post # 7
    2001 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    IMO, if you have set a date and are actively planning a wedding, you are engaged, whether or not you have a ring or formal proposal.

    Post # 7
    918 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Technically, he asked me “will you be my wife” and I said yes, but he wants a real proposal with a ring, so we are looking at venues and keeping it hush hush until the day comes.

    Post # 9
    10 posts
    • Wedding: January 2012

    That’s a lot like what is going on with us. We already have a date and venue picked out, and I’m already looking at decor, and whatnot. But we are not offically engaged yet. We’ve picked out my ring, I’m not sure if he has purchased it yet. He is waiting to offically ask at a special time. He wants me to at least be surprised at something. I think he will be doing it when we take a trip to the beach next weeked. FINGERS CROSSED!! It’s difficult to explain to people that we know we are getting married. They just ll think I’m crazy for planning with no ring!

    Post # 10
    5165 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If you have already paid for stuff and have a set date then you are engaged. The ring doesnt make you engaged.

    Post # 13
    579 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We almost did this.  We’d been talking marriage a while and even had my grandma’s ring sized and ready to go in the safe.  In January/February Fiance randomly says to me “hey, you know there’s a holiday in May.”  And I was like “Oh yeah, Memorial Day.  Do you want to do something?”  And he says Yeah, get married.”  Took me a second to realize he meant next year, lol. 

    So we made plans to go visit venues and do all sorts of stuff Memorial Day weekend this year, even though we weren’t officially engaged, so we could see what places would like.  Fiance originally planned to propose in August on the swan boats in the Boston Common.  But one night in March he was overcome with emotion and couldn’t wait and went and grabbed the ring :D.  But with or without the proposal, we’re planners and would’ve gone ahead with the planning and venue meetings. 

    Post # 15
    9 posts
    • Wedding: July 2012

    It’s refreshing to see that I’m not the only one! We set a date, put a deposit down on a venue, caterer, dj, and I ordered my dress… all without a ring. It just kind of happened. We went looking at venues with my mom back in March with the idea that we’d decide on what we liked and still have some time before we had to put a deposit down. Nope, 2 weeks later the lady who owns the venue called and told me there was another couple looking at our date. We decided that this is what we want and put the deposit down that day… and then everything else just followed. It’s working out though because I’m getting all of the vendors that I want with no stress = a happy girl 🙂

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