(Closed) Not your typical in law / step in law question…

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

For now, I would just stick with calling everyone by their first names.  You really can’t force your husband to call your parents mom and dad if he isn’t comfortable with it.  I think things will all change once you have kids.  My dad always just called my mom’s parents “Mumu and Schaf” which is what all the grandkids called them.  So once they have grand parent names you call just call them by those.

Post # 4
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Honestly – I think you should whatever feels most comfortable (regardless of what other people have done).  And, the reality is – once you have kids – you’ll be calling the parents by G’pa and G’ma names and won’t need to address them as ‘mom or dad’.

And, while I know you’ve wanted your husband to call your parents mom or dad, you should also let him naturally figure out what he wants to call them.

 

Post # 5
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Honestly I can’t really relate with you.  I would never call anyone but my parents “mom” and “dad”.  To me those are titles of extreme honor.  There is no one in the world, no matter how amazing they are, who can be on the same level as my mom and dad and I know they would be offended if I called someone else by those titles, (not that I would be inclined to).

I just wanted to say that I guess you should let your hubby do what feels most comfortable for him.  In the long run it won’t really affect you what anyone calls each other.  I think many of us have notions of how families should be based on how we grow up but unfortunately it doesn’t always shape up that way.  We just have to be willing to let go and work with what we have, (this is something I’ve gone through as well in relation to a different family aspect).

 

I hope you get some good advise that you’re comfortable with.

Post # 6
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

One of my favorite parts about growing up is finding new ways to do things that are different from ways my parents or family have done in the past. Don’t get me wrong, I love a lot of our family tranditions, but I am all about finding my own path.

It sounds like your expecations are different than your Fiance. In this situation, it is best for everyone to do what they are comfortable with. If you (and all of his parents, bio and step) are ok with you calling them Mom & Dad, then do it, regardless of whether or not Fiance calls his step parents (or your parents) Mom & Dad. You cannot  force your Fiance to call anyone anything he doesnt want to, nor should you guilt him into feeling bad about having different feelings/expectations (not that you are or intend to).

Maybe with time his feelings will change, or like previous posters have said, you will start calling them something different. Since my sisters have had kids, we usually call Mom & Dad Grandma & Grandpa, and my Grandma has become Grandma Firstnamel.  

Post # 7
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

IMO your Fiance should call your parents what he is comfortable with.

My Fiance had a similar discussion and he thought that I would be calling his father…”dad”….ummm…no. I am a daddy’s girl and can’t imagine calling anybody daddy..other than..well…MY daddy =) One day I may call him “pops” or something along those lines…

Maybe a time will come when your Fiance feels differently about the whole thing….but it should definitely be his decision.

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