- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
So I want to first start by say that while I guess i appreciate my families opinion I am unfortunately not close enough with anyone in my family that it really matters to me. Although of course while I love my family and dont want to hurt their feelings so I would never tell them this. I just feel like that almost everything I get is NEGATIVE FEEDBACK!. I am so FED UP WITH IT. I really havent asked my families opinion on much and myabe that is where all this stems from .. but I am so sick of everyone wanting to throw their opinion in. Everyone is trying to talk me out of this and it was almost at the point to where i was gonna say fine whatever you want just shut up about it. BUT I AM PAYING FOR 98% OF THIS WEDDING!! ME the other small percentage has came from my Fiance. The only help I have had from anyone else is my mom and sister & her husband are gonna cook for the wedding which is a big help and i greatly appreciate it. But it just seems like everyone likes to say if it was me… if it was me I would do this… well guess what its not you…
Everyone acted like they were all on board to help out when we announced we were getting married and i have only gotten the help of my family 2 days… my sister helped me make bouquets only because she wanted hers better than everyone elses “her words” and my mom helped one day with my aisle runner.. other than that it has just been me and my fiance.
I just keep getting such negative feedback and snotty remarks on everything from my mom a few friends and mostly my sister and Maid/Matron of Honor. I think it is more my sisters comments that get under my skin more than anyones because my mom knows me well enough to just know that I am gonna do what I want even if she doesnt like it and is ok with that.
It is like everything i plan is not good enough or is not right for my sister or is just stupid
I think alot of it comes from Jealousy from not having what she wanted for her wedding. BUT THAT IS NOT MY FAULT ya know stop taking it out on me. My sisters husband did not want to have a wedding at all because my sister was broke and in debt and he did not want to have to pay for it he wanted to elope. I guess after finally conviencing him they had a church wedding & went to florida on their honeymoon. Everything that my sister used for her wedding though (except the dress) was from ME… Me and my mom was the one that gave her , her wedding. See my first marriage.. i never had a wedding or a honeymoon we got married at the courthouse on lunch break… we had planned for a renewal to have a “wedding” and that never happened bc of troubles arising. SO i had all this stuff I had bought basically I had everything anyone could need except table cloths and food and such. So my sister used all of that and I bought everything and made her cake and everything. Even offered to do her Hair and makeup (this is what i do for a living) but her husband didnt want me to.. soo.I get that maybe she just is trying to relive her wedding through mine but its not my fault she didnt have what she wanted… at least she had one ya know & I thought it was nice.
It is like everything she says starts out with an either a If it is me.. or I wish I would have done this… or we did this for or someone else did this….
Now my Sister and My brother in law and my mom are planning to cook for my wedding… (my BIL does alot of huge cookouts and cooks for all of our church functions and has done 2 other weddings this year) so this is wonderful and will help out ALOT.
But I am so sick of my sister saying in reference to our menu well we did this at such and such wedding and … so and so wasnt gonna have this either but we did it and it went over so well… and such and such and she didnt do that either and glad we did for her instead and this is what so and so did.
HONESTLY unless it is something that is at this point going to save me money or make things go alot easier. I really dont care. Everything she is suggesting though is going to cost me more and more money.
We have a menu and i think it is a pretty descent one with enough options and yet she just keeps wanting to add more and more on to it. Saying well so and so did this at her wedding and everyone loved it.
As of now we plan to have
Pulled pork BBQ Chicken Tenders cole slaw mac n cheese green beans
Baked Beans and mini ears of corn
And she is wanting to add more things to it like potatoes and Smoked Turkeys and stuffing ALL THINGS TO COST ME MORE AND MORE MONEY!It is like I cant get her to understand that it.. all she thinks of is ohhh people will really want this.. but guess what if it is not there they wont miss it!
Am i wrong in thinking this is enough options?
She keeps snarling her nose up at me and making comments of how everyone will be mad about it everytime i tell her that we are not planning to do soft drinks for the wedding. SOFT DRINKS ARE EXPENSIVE…( They run almost $5.00 for a pack of 12 cans and almost $2 for a 2 liter)not mention me and my fiance really try not to drink them & we dont let our kid have them so we dont even buy them for our own house.So why would we buy them for 80 people ya know.
It will not kill people to drink something else. We are planning on having 2 kinds of lemonade, Ice tea, bottled water, and punch. Not to mention that we are letting people have FREE SNOW CONES from most popular snow cone place in town. (she says well I dont drink any of those and i dont like snow cones so im gonna bring some cokes.. and your gonna have alot of people mad because they dont like any of that stuff.
I am I like the only person in the world who doenst think it is crazy not to provide soft drinks?
My sister has made hurtful comments about my choices in music for my wedding. About how everyone will think that is stupid and everyone will wonder what the hell i was thinking. How i am just mocking everything that a wedding is suppose to be.
All because i have chosen untraditional wedding songs. She says things like thats just stupid and if i dont walk to here comes the bride that no one will know im coming and not to feel bad when i have to walk down the aisle with no one looking because they didnt know i was coming.
She thinks it is wrong that I dont want to say “traditional” wedding vows & want to personalize them more because apparently then we are not really committing ourselves to what marriage is all about.
MY BIGGEST ISSUE BY FAR WITH MY SISTER IS her diva attitude about not being able to help with this or that the day of or day before because she has to get ready….guess what I AM THE BRIDE NOT YOU… i know you want to look good too but If i have to get out and do this stuff i feel like she shouldnt be able to pass on it because she has to have your hair done because guess what… I am the bride and this is my day not hers and she is suppose to be there to help me out! Not Go MIA
Or wanting to change this or that because she wants to stand out… or wanting to not wear this because the other girls are. I set her apart in alot of ways … i am letting her wear different colored shoes and made her bouquet different and bigger from the other girls. I let each girl pick out thier own dress in the same color and do their hair or makeup however they want and wear jewlery of their choosing. Sometimes though what I really feel like she is saying is… I want to look better than you do.
FIRST LOOK THIS IS WHERE EVERYONE ELSE COMES IN
So When I have expressed to my family and friends about us doing a first look and seeing each other prior to the wedding I get nothing but negative feedback on this. I hear everything from how that is just unheard of to how much it is bad luck. To it will ruin the moment… to we will look back an regret it
even though my family thinks this will kill the anticipation of him seeing me for the first time … I don’t think it has to I think this could be just as great of a moment if not a better moment in my opinion. This could very well be the only intimate alone moment the two of us have together on our wedding day.
Also my fiance has been apprehensive abouting doing the formal wedding portraits from the start because of him missing alot of things at his first wedding and not having fun due ot taking so many pictures.
I think this would be great moment for us… and would totally knock out alot of our pictures so we dont miss any of our shorter reception.
Is anyone else having the same issues with your family ? How are you handling it?