Post # 1
…while you’re in bed!
Sorry if this is Too Much Information for some of you, but I have to share! Boyfriend or Best Friend and I were lazing around in bed this morning, as we often do on Sundays. He relayed the news to me last night that his best friend got engaged, which we knew was happening last week anyway, but he got the official call early evening. We were invited to go hang out with them last night but I politely declined. The best friend’s newly made fiancee has been on gchat ever since, I’m sure spreading the news, and my Boyfriend or Best Friend was chatting with her last night. This morning, in bed, Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are snuggled under the covers, and out of nowhere (we weren’t even having a conversation about anything at all), he says: “So I was chatting with JL (best friend’s fiancee) on gchat last night and she said A (his best friend) wants to get married in Normandy next April.” If women had the equivalent of their genitals shrinking back into their bodies, this would have happened to me right then and there. I gave it the brush off (and pretty much ended the discussion) by saying “Oh A and his crazy ideas.” Seriosuly, I have never been so uninterested in sex as I was at that moment. UGH!
But then, and I feel awful about thinking this, I got to thinking that it would actaully be awesome if BF’s best friend got married next April in a foreign country because a) I won’t be able to afford it, and even better, b) my project is opening on April 16th, so I will be spending every waking moment of April in Charlotte, NC (no exaggeration – my coworker who would normally be helping me doing installation is going to be on maternity leave so I don’t have a choice), so I won’t be able to go anyway! The wedding is more than likely going to be in NY anyway, but I will still have to stomach the details. Blech!
I hope everyone else’s Sunday has been off to a better start!
Post # 3
Aw, Im sorry! I got a pit in my stomach for you just now lol.
Does you Boyfriend or Best Friend know you will be busy the whole month of april? Maybe he was trying to gage your reaction on a destination wedding>???
Post # 4
ick 🙁 and i agree with honeybear, maybe he was trying to gage your reaction…
Post # 5
I’m sorry that happened. What I just focus on and did all along is the good. It’s a good thing his buddy found love and when you stay positive and focus on the good stuff, our stuff kinda fades.
I say if your guy is excited about his friends’ engagement, YOU be excited too! He may decide that this engagement thing is really great and that if his bff’s doing it, then maybe you being over the moon happy about that wedding will make him want to sweep you off your feet!!!
How about an engagement in normandy? In France? Oui Oui that would be HOT.
Maybe you could slip it into conversation “Wow. Wouldn’t that be hot if we went to their wedding all the way to France. How romantic. France. I sure would like a proposal at the Eiffel Tower.”
Put a thought in his head and keep positive and happy!!!
Post # 6
Ugh… that is such a buzzkill. The Boy and I had a similar experience this weekend. His friend and his fiancee came over to hang out. While she and I were having “girl talk,” she let is slip they are getting married in January (small JOP deal).
In bed, later I mentioned it to the Boy who replied, “And?” AND?!!! AND??!!!! And I have no idea if/when I will be engaged and get married is what I wanted to scream.
I think guys just don’t get how we feel hearing about other people getting engaged or getting married.
Post # 7
What I see as encouraging is both of your guys are being positive about marriage and sharing with you that their friends are getting married.
Them mentioning it means to me that they’re good with the concept!
I see this as nothing but all good! Sure they have no idea or any sensitivity chip inside when they begin the wedding talk or talk of their friends getting engaged, but it’s funny. I swear about a decade ago when my girlfriends began getting engaged, the guys just fell into line, one after the other asking their girls to marry them! It was if my entire single circle of friends disappeared within a year or two.
I think really them being on board with their friend marrying might just give them the oomph to see how great it would be to marry the girl they love! YOU! 🙂
Post # 8
OHHHH man I know how you feel. Haha I would have reacted the same way. If it makes you feel any better I have to now help with my friend who just got pregnant, after i just spent the last 2 years planning all my friends showers, bachelorettes, weddings and now babies. On top of that my younger sister told me about her friend getting engaged last night. And the wait goes on and on and on and on………………….
Post # 9
sorry ladies – unfortunately my Boyfriend or Best Friend is neither that smart nor sensitive (nor, sadly, that romantic) to use this as an opportunity to gauge my reaction about having a destination wedding. that’s not him AT ALL!
honeybear & crebre – Boyfriend or Best Friend and I live together, and although I try to keep it to a minimum, I talk about the insanity of my job every day! he knows that basically once January comes, I’ll be in Charlotte every other week probably to begin with and then I’m guessing every week at least through opening and the month after. i work for an exhibit design firm (as in museum exhibits) based in NYC, but the majority of our projects are spread out all over the country. my compnay laid off a bunch of people this spring (about 1/2 of them were working on my project too!) so there’s not too much hope for getting an additional help for me this late in the project 🙁
i would probably be more happy about this situation but a) his best friend has always just wanted to get married, so he kinda scooped this girl up as quickly as he could it seems (they’ve been together seriously for like 1yr and a half – probably the shortest relationship he’s been in; not that i’m judging 🙂 ); b) the more i’ve gotten to know his best friend, the less i like him (he’s generally a bad influence on my Boyfriend or Best Friend for a whole host of reasons i won’t waste people’s time getting into); and c) his best friend’s fiancee is really annoying and immature (i’ll add that several of our mutual friends agree), so she’s also not my favorite person.
the kicker is that if his best friend ends up having a European destination wedding in the spring, our vacation plan to trek around Europe for two weeks at the end of next summer/early fall will pretty much be shot. we’ve more or less agreed to do it as of last month, and i’ve already started saving for it, and i know it seems really selfish, but this trip is kind of important to me, especially since i haven’t taken a 2week long vacation in almost 3 years, and the end of next summer is the ideal time since i will be done with my current project! i don’t necessarily want to spend hundreds of dollars on a wedding that i don’t really care much about.
i know my time is hopefully coming soon, but i just hate getting things rubbed in my face by the person who is the most guilty of causing my general frustration – my BF!
Post # 10
Girl, my best friend is in the midst of planning her Oct. 2010 wedding and one of me and SO’s friends is getting married June 2010. I just wanna to go lie in a ditch somewhere.
Post # 11
@aubergold – HUGS!! please don’t go lie in a ditch! i hope we can keep our spirits up, although the feeling is mutual. i feel really horrible for reacting the way that i am to this, and being kind of catty beotch about it, but such is life. one of my best friends is getting married in 3 months, which I am TOTALLY behind and happy and excited about. it’s just harder to get excited when to begin with, you don’t love the people getting married to begin with, and then it’s a constant reminder that you are still not engaged/getting married. blech!!
Post # 12
ok this will be my last vent about this, i promise! well, at least for awhile 🙂
old college roommate and also good friend of mine is in town unfortunately because her grandfather passed away last week, but will be staying through this weekend for the holiday. i haven’t seen her since May of this year, and between work and life have sadly not had much time to catch up with her even on the phone since. we made tentative plans for this past weekend – she was supposed to come hang out with me at our apartment/in our neighborhood yesterday. but she had a lot of family in town still after the funeral services and had to cancel. she didn’t have plans today or tomorrow, and suggested lunch today, but i actually want to see her for more than 1/2 an hour so i suggested we have dinner tomorrow night, and if it would be cool if my Boyfriend or Best Friend came with, which was fine by her. i asked the Boyfriend or Best Friend if that was cool and he said sure. after much ado picking someplace to go, i call my friend on my lunchbreak today and tell her where to meet us. i get back and tell him on gchat that plans are confirmed and he says “Can i invite A & J (abovementioned newly engaged couple) if they’re free?” and I’m like – uhhh no!! Seriously? He’s already spending the evening with A tonight. and I’d really rather not have dinner with my friend who I haven’t seen in 6 mos and who’s gransfather just passed away hi-jacked by people she’s never met before and who will (unintentionally, i know, but inevitably) divert the conversation to talk about themselves! i also don’t want to have to be forced to talk to about their engagement, etc. because this will be the first time i’ll have seen them since they got back and it’s happened. sigh.
Post # 13
((hugs)) i think you’re being very reasonably actually. did you tell your beau the reason why, i’d probably just say your friend isn’t bringing a date so you don’t want her to feel like she’s the third wheel with two couples. but it does sound like your beau is trying to get all of your friends together to see how you mesh..
Post # 14
thanks crebre! i need some. i told him that i really just wanted to catch up w/my friend over dinner since i haven’t seen her in 6mos (and he knows she’s in town b/c of her grandfather), and he was fine with that. but he is just so oblivious and insensitive to things like this that it makes me nuts sometimes! boys.
end of post 🙂