(Closed) NOW he tells me

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@MamaMegs721:  Oh boy.  I’d never want to deal with the week leading up to my wedding again. Hopefully your experience will end up like mine did, which I will share in a moment, but for the time being, you still have 5 days to deal with this stick-in-the-mud. If he is harboring a lot of resentment, tell him how you tried to include him in the process, and give examples on how he didn’t follow through with helping. Solid examples. Then, to help him calm down, tell him you felt as thought it was a burden to him based on that behavior, and just went with it because you weren’t lead to believe he wanted it any differently. Tell him that in the future, he should speak up in a direct way so that you can find solutions to issues TOGETHER rather than letting them get to a divisive level. 

Tell him how you chose things and planned with him in mind, and tell him you picked things that you thought he would enjoy, and to relax and just enjoy your wedding as it’s happening. 

When I was getting married, I was stressed out too because I felt like I would be choosing the wrong things. In the end, none of it mattered, because I was so in love with my husband and absolutely getting lost in emotion. The color of the backlighting didn’t matter, the flowers that my florist messed up didn’t matter, and the family drama that had gone on just the day before was the last thing on my mind. Probably when you get to your actual wedding, you’ll experience something similar. Gently remind your Fiance that the day isn’t about decorations; it’s about pledging your commitment to eachother in front of your family and friends. Tell him you can’t wait to share your future with him, and that you’re confident that you two can work as a team in the future to solve problems like this TOGETHER. Good luck.

Post # 4
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yes! Or how about how stressed he was the day before? He was really trying to complain to me about it and I about lost it. The best I could do was, “Yeah, now see why I’ve been a mess all week???” :/ I did 90% of the planning with my mom, and the like 3 days he ever did anything he was being all high-and-mighty about it. I almost lost my cool. I had to just bite my tongue on that one! Lol. Good news? He totally made up for it the next day when we got MARRIED! Hopefully you’ll have a happy ending to your ‘WTF’ moment the week before. 😉

Post # 5
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My Fiance would pull some stuff like that so that’s why I’ve have been dragging him all over the place.  He made the mistake one time and called it MY wedding so I’ve making sure that he goes to everything that pertains to MY wedding.

Post # 6
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@mrsjjohnson2b:  Just be easy on him HAHA and oh yeah, did you ask if he still thinks it’s YOUR wedding?

Post # 7
Member
4124 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

A male friend of mine felt the same 2 weeks prior to his wedding.  His Destination Wedding went crazy at him when he asked what he could do to help.  He realises now that he was a fool to ask, and a fool to not be involved when he was asked.  I don’t think men realise it takes time to plan these things.

Post # 8
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would explain to him how it made you feel to hear that from him when he previously didn’t show any interest. Explain how it’s stressing you out and taking away from the excitement. List the tasks that haven’t been done yet and have him choose what he wants to do. Hope this helps 🙂

Post # 9
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@happyface:  LOL…he now calls it OUR wedding or THE wedding…he is still not off the hook so tomorrow he will watch me try on tons of shoes, going to look at centerpieces, going to craft stores to see what we can find on sale, and finding suits for the little boys.

The only thing he won’t go to are my fittings and he might but just has to sit in the car.

Post # 10
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My Fiance says that now and then.

He has been very helpful at the end, but before that for the previous 8 months, he just kept saying stuff like this. I know he didn’t really mean it, It’s an excuse for him not to be “the one that didn’t do stuff”, so he’ll say that to make me believe it was me excluding him. err NO, i’m not falling for it

Post # 11
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

we fought a lot the last week or so before the wedding. In fact, the day before the wedding we didn’t speak.

Tension and emotions are running high, so stay out of each other’s way until the wedding….seriously! I know it sounds terrible, but it’s best to not get involved.

Post # 12
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

@MamaMegs721:  Just tell him you’ve got plenty of newlywed projects that he can help you with lol

Post # 16
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mrsjjohnson2b:  You are my hero.

MamaMegs721Supply him with a stack of blank Thank You notes and a the gift list, and tell him he can be helpful now. 

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