(Closed) now he wants to have a baby. And sooner than later. Not sure how I feel!

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Leemarie:  Even if we got pregnant, no guarantee it would be a boy.

This was my first thought when reading your post – you may have a girl, or you may have a boy who isn’t into traditional guy stuff like sports and cars and whatever. I think it’s really important to not go into raising your child with expectations of what kind of things they’ll be into and enjoy – it’s just unfair to the child if dad is disappointed because they always wanted a son and got one but he’s not into sports, or whatever. Or, as you said, you might get another daughter.

Does he have any nephews or anything like that he can maybe do some stuff with? I don’t really have any advice beyond that because this isn’t really something where someone can tell you whether or not you should have another child, that’s something only the two of you can decide – but considering the details you’ve given us I wouldn’t rush into anything, maybe agree to put it away in the back of your mind and give it some thought over the next six months or something, then revisit. That isn’t a huge amount of time where it would make him an ‘old dad’, but it’s enough to give you some space and time to think this through clearly and make sure you’re not jumping into anything you aren’t really ready for. Because right now it doesn’t sound like this is something you want, and you shouldn’t do it if that is the case – I was sure about wanting a baby and being ready to try, and now halfway through my pregnancy I still get nervous about all the changes, so I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I’d been unsure about the baby right from the start!

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