(Closed) Now I feel bad

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is always the right thing to speak up if something is bothering you. It is unfair to others to store things up, let the resentment build and then explode  on them one day.

Hopefully the two of you have come to an understanding and neither of you will do it to the other again.

None of our lives are so important that yoou should be phoning or texting while having a conversation with someone else. It’s just plain rude.

Post # 4
Member
2465 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i think it would have been better to say something in person while it was happening, rather than via bbm almost a week later. the way you did it was making a mountain out of a mole hill

Post # 5
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t think you should feel bad about speaking up. That’s what makes a friendship. If you can’t let your friend know what’s bothering you, then maybe it isn’t the friendship you thought it was.

I think in the meantime, if you could sit down with her face to face or call her rather than talking to her about it over BBM, that might make it a little better.

Post # 6
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would find it weird if someone told me that via BBM, if anything you should have said something to her while it was happening. But to bring it up later just seems a bit petty

Post # 7
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I agree with pp you should say something when it’s happening and not after when it can be blown out if porportion. You admitted you did it before and she never said anything so I feel you should cut her some slack let it go and move on because friendship is more important. Next time maybe make a pack to turn off the phones when your hanging out so it won’t happen again.

Post # 8
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It happens. We have all done it at some point or another. What makes friendships last is that you get over these moments, learn from them and move on. 

Post # 9
Member
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sorry, I missed the part about BBM. These kind of conversations should happen in person.

Post # 10
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You should have said something while it was happening, now it just looks like you’re being petty.

Post # 11
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

I probably would have made some kind of lighthearted comment/joke about it the next time I saw her in person …. like a “Is it just gonna be you and me, today, girl?  ::wink::”  and if she does it again, say “Yeah, is this a bad time for you?  I see you’re really distracted…we can meet up another time if you want.” 

Like PP have said, it’s important to voice your concerns but I usually try to do it in a less confrontational way. 

Post # 13
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ugh,I haaaaaate it when people do this. It’s one thing if you have to take a quick call or send one quick text. But to constantly be checking/messing around with your phone when you are with a friend makes it seem like you’re bored, and you’d rather be screwing around with your phone than conversing with the person you’re supposed to be hanging out with. It’s completely rude. And sadly, so many of my female friends do this.

But – I do agree you should have just said something to her at the time. Maybe something like what @phoenix718: suggested about “is this a bad time?” No need to say it in a mean way, you could just be sort of matter-of-fact about it and say, “It kind of hurts my feelings when you’re so distracted by your phone when we’re hanging out. It makes it seem like you’re uninterested in what we’re talking about.” And if she keeps doing it, then you can always just decline her invitations to hang out.

Post # 15
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

@Ryansgirl:  after you made the joke, she said “oh, sorry!” and kept doing it?  Yeah, that changes the game a little bit.  She brushed off your lighthearted approach, and then asked you if something was wrong over BBM after the fact.  Yup, she deserved something a little more firm regardless of what format it was over. 

Hopefully she’ll sit on what you said and the next time you guys get together will be a little less distracted 🙂

Post # 16
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Ryansgirl: Well, you kind of left out some vital info here, that not only did you try to talk to her initially, but that SHE asked YOU what was wrong via bbm.

You’d get more useful responses if you shared the whole story.

The topic ‘Now I feel bad’ is closed to new replies.

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