- 6 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
I’m a frequent poster, but have chosen to write under a different name, Bees. Sorry this is long.
I chose A (we will call her) as my Maid/Matron of Honor because we’ve been friends forever. All throughout grade school and high school we hung out after school, on weekends, all the time. When she went to college (I was still a senior) she became a wild child, partying, sleeping around, dating a bunch of guys. We remained friends because we still had things in common.
Fast forward to the beginning of the year. She moved closer to where I live (our home town). I helped her unpack and set up her house. 2 months before the wedding she started going to the bar every Friday and Saturday. I was always busy on the weekends with wedding stuff. She was like, “Ok. After the wedding every Friday we HAVE to go out.” I agreed, figuring it would be fun. I didn’t want to be “that friend” that dropped her friends after she gets married. She was SO pumped up that I was going to go out with her.
Throughout the wedding, she’d tell me about guys she had one-night stands with then complain that she never had a boyfriend, but she wants kids SO bad. She’s been saying for years if “I ain’t married by the time I’m 30 I’m either going to go to a sperm bank or get knocked up.” This struck a nerve with me, so I finally said something and we ended up kind of arguing about it. I told her she wasn’t thinking about the kid, and she said I didn’t understand, whatever. We decided not to talk about that anymore because we disagreed so harshly.
The Friday after I got married, we went out. I wasn’t drinking, but I was still having fun. We went out the next Friday as well. The next week I asked A if we were going to go out on Friday. She’s like, “I’m getting tired of going out, so maybe I should stay away from the bars for a while.” The next week she texted me and she was like, “I met a guy.” I said, “Oh when? Where? Who? Tell me everything!” She said, “I met him at the bar on Friday!”
Didn’t she just say she wasn’t going to the bar anymore? I asked her, and she said she went for supper and then had a few drinks. Ok. I asked her about the next Friday, to which she replied, “We’ll see. I’m not sure if I want to go.” She never called or text so I figured she didn’t want to go. Saturday on fb she posts, “Had a blast this weekend and made one hell of an awesome new friend! Love you C!” Then on Sunday she posts again and says, “Good friend, good beer, and GOOD cowboys in 5 days and counting!”
So she’s blown me off two Fridays in a row now, and this Friday will be no different it appears. I can’t help but feel it’s because I’m married and if she’s with a married friend she won’t be able to act like she does with as single friend. I can see how that would be, but you can’t give up one of your weekend nights now to hang out with me after you were SO excited that I was able to come out? It’s made me pretty upset. I’m not jealous of this new friend, BUT when you set Fridays as being the night to hang out and then blow me off to hang out with someone else? Yes, I get upset. I have asked to hang out during the week and that seems to be something she can’t make happen either. She’s usually too tired after work, she says.
I don’t know if it is worth approaching. After analyzing our relationship the past few months I’m not sure really sure I CAN talk to her about anything or if it is even worth talking about and I should just let it go. It seems we have moved in different directions. I would hope our relationship could make it. Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I can’t go out and have fun. But appearantly it seems this new single friend of hers is able to go out drink and get dates with her, so she’s more fun that I am.
I don’t know Bees. Maybe I just needed to vent. If anyone has any advice that would be great. Otherwise, thank you for listening to my pity party rant lol.