Post # 1
Someone started a thread (below)
That got me thinking. And now I’m nervous. We opted not to invite the SO’s to the Rehearsal Dinner (due to money purposes). We even tried to change the restaurant or do a bbq, etc so that we CAN invite the SO’s … but, my Future Mother-In-Law wouldn’t budge. Yes, she’s paying for it … but, she’s a lot about appearance than anything. The compromise IS the restaurant that we chose (which is cheaper than her original choice)
So, now I’m thinking … is it really that bad NOT to invite the SO’s? I justified it by not wanting them to be bored during an hour rehearsal, plus watching what is going to happen the day of (which I like to keep as a surprise). And are they expected to be there? Am I being a brat about it? lol Help!!!!!!!!!!
Post # 3
if anyone in your bridal party is married, engaged, or living with a so, it’s very rude to not invite the so.
if the so’s don’t fit into any of those categories, it’s nice to invite them but not necessarily required. if that’s the case, you should explain to your bridal party why you couldn’t invite them.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
We invited the SOs to the rehearsal dinner (although not random plus ones when they were invited to the wedding). They met us at the restaurant, not at the rehearsal itself, so it doesn’t need to reveal any secrets!
I do think it’s better to invite SOs, for the same reason you invite them to the wedding: they are a social unit and should usually be extended joint invitations. I would definitely not leave off spouses or fiance(e)s. Not sure about other SOs; that could be a little more open if absolutely necessary.
Post # 5
If they SO is coming to the wedding they must be invited to the rehearsal dinner. That doesn’t mean they have to go to the rehearsal themselves. Our bridal party’s SO’s all carpooled together to the dinner and met us there. It’s really not much of a “thank you” to your bridal party if you host a dinner where their significant others are not invited to join them.
Post # 6
Like PPs, you don’t need to invite them to the actual rehearsal, but you really should invite them to the dinner…. especially if anyone in your party is married, engaged, or living with SO. I would be a bit miffed if I was in a wedding and Fiance wasn’t invited to the rehearsal dinner…
Post # 7
njm how many people are in your bridal party? Is it really going to add that much on to the bill at the restaurant?
I’d explain the ettiquette to your Future Mother-In-Law and maybe offer to pay yourself if she’s not willing?
Post # 8
@PinkMagnolia: We have 15 people total in the bridal party (and that DOES NOT incluce my Fiance and I). Plus my grandfather is marrying us (so he’ll be there) and both mothers are walking down the isle (so they’ll be there).
So, really we’re looking at 23 ppl and with their spouses that brings it to 46. Truth be told, it looks like we’re not going to tell her and invite the SO’s anyway and just pay the difference. k
Post # 9
i definitely think SO’s should be invited to the dinner, but they can hang out in the hotel for an hour or however long the rehearsal takes. if they are from out of town, it’s likely that they will be traveling with the bridesmaid/groomsmen and would be bored the whole night eating by themselves otherwise
Post # 10
I don’t know, I don’t think you need to invite them to the dinner. I would understand if I wasn’t invited or if my husband wasn’t. If one of us isn’t in the party, then they don’t NEED to be there. I would always prefer that we’re both invited, but I’d get if we weren’t.
Post # 11
You dont need to invite them to either, but I think it would be nice.
A rehearsal dinner is the people in the rehearsal and immediate family traditionally. I went to a rehearsal dinner recently and no SO’s were invited. It was perfectly OK.
Post # 12
No, I think they DO need to be invited. It’s like any other dinner you’d be inviting those particular bridal party members to. Would you invite them to a dinner party and not include their SO? Probably not. This is along the same lines.
I do agree that they don’t need to come to the actual rehearsal, though. I see you’ve already decided to go ahead and invite them. Good on you. 🙂