(Closed) Now she decides she wants to be in the wedding..

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

That is really upsetting. Sometimes it’s hard to understand people’s choices (and sometimes it seems like they don’t understand their own actions!) Just say you already have your bridal party, that you picked someone else after she said she couldn’t do it.

Post # 4
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree…people act so strange sometimes!  It sounds like you would rather not have her up there anyways, so I would go with VeronicaH in saying something along the lines that you have already made other arrangements after she said she wasn’t able to commit (whether that be find someone to take her place or just alter your plans for one less BM).  Things like this irritate me too, but I don’t think it is worth worrying about anymore.  She isn’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man, so keep it that way and be happy with the wonderful ladies that ARE your BM!  Good luck 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Good for you for not feeling pressured into keeping her as part of your wedding party. If/when she plans her own wedding/finally gets it I hope you get a big fat apology from her as she realizes how poorly she’s behaved.

Post # 6
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You are doing the right thing by removing a prblem before it gets out of hand. If she is trouble now we can only imagine what it would be like closer to the wedding.

Post # 7
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with the majority here, and just tell her that you have your bridal party all picked out now, and that it would be best for her to go on with putting it towards her schooling. Her motives weren’t in the right place if she could afford that brand new cell phone, but it was truly her decision to buy it, and you can’t knock her for that. But you still don’t have to allow her to be a part of your wedding. She can come as a guest, and that will have to be good enough.

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

that would infuriate me-I think especially b/c she isn’t even your future SIL or anything, just a girlfriend. 

can your Fiance tell his brother to tell her to zip it? 

Post # 10
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

To be honest, it sounds like you have been more than accommodating to her and gave her the option to be in your wedding TWICE and she is still acting up.  Since you were just being nice by asking her to be a bridesmaid to begin with and she doesn’t care to meet you half way, I would just nicely let her know that maybe its better that she isn’t a bridesmaid and leave it at that.  In my opinion, that is too much added stress to worry about, especially if it continues to happen up until the wedding.  

Post # 11
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

you should have people you love and care about next to you, she doesnt fit that description.

and i dont think its your buisness what she spends her money on. i would gladly spend $400 on a phone, before spending even $50 on a dress i will only wear once, especially if im not that close to the bride. its hard to realize that the world doesnt revolve around your wedding to everyone else when its all you think about.

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