Post # 1
So I had a post before about one of my bridesmaids now an ex bridesmaid. She’s my fiance’s brothers girlfriend who I am not fond of but I can tolerate her. Anyways I was being nice and asked her to be in my wedding. I’ve been VERY GOOD about asking all my gals about what kind of dresses they would want and shoes, everyone has been like whatever we don’t care it’s your day. So anyways after two dress choices I found the perfect dresses for them. So I told them that’s what I want and they can start to buy their dresses. Well the brother’s girlfriend was like..Oh well I’m broke and I have to goto summer school, blah blah… whatever. I totally get it and I was understanding. The dresses were 150 which I thought was reasonable, but never the less I was like that’s cool, Don’t worry about it. So later that day we started texting about stupid stuff and she was like “that dress wouldn’t look good on my body type, it would make me look pregnant”. I was so pissed seriously…I am not a b*tch like that but I was like what the flip, it’s my day and that’s what i want. I’ve been more than nice to everyone about asking opinions and what not. I don’t like liars. Grr…whatever so she’s not in the wedding anymore. Two weeks later I heard she bought a new cell phone – out of contract so we all know those aren’t cheap like 300-400 dollars. I was rippin pissed hearing that…but I got over it. Well fast forward to a month … I get a text from her saying how her birthday is coming up and she will get money from her mom to get the dress and can she still be in the wedding if I wasn’t too pissed… I was like Nope. *I said it more like… It’s a lot of money I understand that you can’t afford it, don’t worry about it. You said you had school to pay for and it’s cool. I just kept telling her don’t worry about it… Makes me so mad.
Post # 3
That is really upsetting. Sometimes it’s hard to understand people’s choices (and sometimes it seems like they don’t understand their own actions!) Just say you already have your bridal party, that you picked someone else after she said she couldn’t do it.
Post # 4
I agree…people act so strange sometimes! It sounds like you would rather not have her up there anyways, so I would go with VeronicaH in saying something along the lines that you have already made other arrangements after she said she wasn’t able to commit (whether that be find someone to take her place or just alter your plans for one less BM). Things like this irritate me too, but I don’t think it is worth worrying about anymore. She isn’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man, so keep it that way and be happy with the wonderful ladies that ARE your BM! Good luck 🙂
Post # 5
Good for you for not feeling pressured into keeping her as part of your wedding party. If/when she plans her own wedding/finally gets it I hope you get a big fat apology from her as she realizes how poorly she’s behaved.
Post # 6
You are doing the right thing by removing a prblem before it gets out of hand. If she is trouble now we can only imagine what it would be like closer to the wedding.
Post # 7
I agree with the majority here, and just tell her that you have your bridal party all picked out now, and that it would be best for her to go on with putting it towards her schooling. Her motives weren’t in the right place if she could afford that brand new cell phone, but it was truly her decision to buy it, and you can’t knock her for that. But you still don’t have to allow her to be a part of your wedding. She can come as a guest, and that will have to be good enough.
Post # 8
Update:: My fiance’s grandmother was like it’s one day just let her be in it. *ughhh* so anyways…So I agreed AGAIN. Well now we have a bigger issue the shoes- ALL she is doing is complaining what doesn’t look good on her feet, and the color. I wanna tell her to STFU at this point. It’s really starting to piss me off and I don’t easily get to that point of yelling at someone. Is there a nice way of telling her I am the bride and she needs to shut it or get out?
Post # 9
that would infuriate me-I think especially b/c she isn’t even your future SIL or anything, just a girlfriend.
can your Fiance tell his brother to tell her to zip it?
Post # 10
To be honest, it sounds like you have been more than accommodating to her and gave her the option to be in your wedding TWICE and she is still acting up. Since you were just being nice by asking her to be a bridesmaid to begin with and she doesn’t care to meet you half way, I would just nicely let her know that maybe its better that she isn’t a bridesmaid and leave it at that. In my opinion, that is too much added stress to worry about, especially if it continues to happen up until the wedding.
Post # 11
you should have people you love and care about next to you, she doesnt fit that description.
and i dont think its your buisness what she spends her money on. i would gladly spend $400 on a phone, before spending even $50 on a dress i will only wear once, especially if im not that close to the bride. its hard to realize that the world doesnt revolve around your wedding to everyone else when its all you think about.