(Closed) Now she says she wont have money for her dress! What would you do?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

There are four options: (1) change the dress for everone (might run into time constraints), (2) let her get a different dress in the same color (if that works for anything, it works for Two Birds bridesmaid dresses, (3) pay for all or part of her dress for her, or (4) kick her out. Kicking her out would be a pretty drastic move and will pretty much guarantee the end of your friendship. You say you can’t afford to help with the cost of the dress. You and all your bridesmaids like the dresses, so I’d suggest letting her pick another dress in the same color and with a similar fabric.

Post # 4
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

From what I’ve seen, those are really, REALLY simple dresses. Why not go to a seamstress, have them made at like $30-$40 each in whatever color fabric you want, and be done with it? I think it’s crap that she kind of reneged when she knew it was coming, but $260 is way too much for a piece of jersey material… and for losing a good friend out of your bridal party.

Good luck!!! I’m sure you’ll find a solution.

Post # 5
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

have you tried netbride, rk bridal, or pearl’s place? all of those places may have the dress at a less expensive price.

Post # 6
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It may be just the holiday season that is draining her bank accounts.. who knows.

I would either let her get a dress similar to the dress chosen but at a more cost-friendly budget or get the dress made. If it is jersey, it shouldn’t be that expensive to get it done.

Post # 7
Member
45 posts
Newbee

I wouldnt really want to pay 260 for that dress either. Its not really that well made for the price. I dont think you can force her to pay that much she needs to have options.

Post # 8
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

What color were you planning on getting it in?  I know Victoria’s Secret had something kinda similar for like $90 awhile back.  But I don’t remember what colors it came in. 

Post # 10
Member
7527 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

She should have voiced her concerns from the beginning. It is a lot for a dress.  I agree that you might try to have it made for less.

Post # 11
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think 260 for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress is pretty outrageous.  I think I would be slightly irritated if someone asked me to be in their wedding and then wanted me to waste 260 on a dress.  Honestly. 🙁 Sorry not too helpful.

Post # 12
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Also, check out butter by nadia dresses.  I think they are the same thing and less expensive.

Post # 13
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

That sounds like a flashback for me. I had a bridesmaid first be upset with me that she wasnt the Maid/Matron of Honor. Then tell me she couldnt afford the $130 dress. I offered to pay for it and then she refused and I told her how much it hurt me that she wasnt in the wedding and now she wont talk to me and wasnt even invited to my wedding.

I would say whatever the cost is for the dress they should save up for it and be honored to be in your wedding. You could offer to pay for it or help pay for it and have her pay you back. But you are the bride and you should be able to order what you want. Your price isnt rediculous, its high, but you gave them all very much advanced notice and asked them first about it. I say if she doesnt get the dress or let you help her she doesnt deserve to be a bridesmaid.

Post # 14
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@BlondieBee: OP doesn’t have money to help her with the dress right now.

That is a LOT for a jersey dress.  And it may still need alterations even if it can be worn 15 different ways.  I need alterations on nearly every dress I buy because I just have a weird body shape.

Personally, I don’t think you should “kick her out” over this.  It’s very hard to come up with that amount of money in this economy, and around the holidays.  If you can’t help your friend a bit with the cost, think about how hard it is for her to pay for it in full.

It’s really embarassing to admit to someone that you can’t afford something.  I would possibly consider something a little more affordable for all involved.

Post # 15
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

It’s hard to ask a Bridesmaid or Best Man to pay so much for a dress, especially around the holidays when everyone’s bank accounts are stretched thin. I think you should look into other options, I’m wearing one of those multi-way dresses in my friend’s wedding and she found them for like $50 (pink) on amazon.com. Depending on the color, you can most likely find a better deal. I don’t think kicking her out should be an option, clearly she’s a close friend or you would not have invited her in the first place. Even though it is oyur wedding, it is important to consider your friends needs.

Post # 16
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I know there is also an option for these dresses on Etsy (I think they are called the Chameleon dress) and they are cheaper.

This happened at a wedding I was in; my friends found out a couple weeks before the wedding that one of the groomsmen had not bought his suit yet because he couldn’t afford it.  I understand that she has known for a long time, but I know for him, it was extremely embarrassing.  He was ashamed that he had not been able to gather the money for his outfit even though they had ordered them long ago (I’m not sure of your bridesmaid’s situation but he had a lot of job issues).  Rather than say something earlier, he kept waiting because he had hoped he could come up with the money.

In the end, the bride’s parents paid for his suit and that was that.  I’m not sure if he ever paid them back or not.  Maybe you could find someone to lend the money, and work out a payment plan with the bridesmaid?  It is an awful lot of money, and she may have said yes initially because she didn’t know what else to do.  Not everyone is good with their money.

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