(Closed) Now that our timeline is decided, my heart hurts.

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I want to second the person that said waiting is good because of your age.  When I was 21 I was dating this guy that I thought the world of.  And he really wasn’t a bad person at all.  But years later I’m so so glad we didn’t make any rash decisions because he’s definitely not the person for me.  It was hard to see at that age because you want your life to begin, I get that.  If you still want to marry him in a year or two then go ahead.  But there’s nothing wrong with waiting til your lives are a little more sorted out and you’ve had a little more life experience.  You’re still going to be young when you marry so I wouldn’t worry!

Also if you really want to consummate your relationship that’s up to you.  God is going to love you either way.  There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin when you marry but there’s also nothing wrong with having slept with your husband before you got married.  If I were buying a car I’d give it a test drive…a husband is a more important decision than a car 😉  Good luck!!

Post # 17
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

While I absolutely hated waiting, looking back it brought so much strength to our relationship. Not to mention, it goes by much faster than you think. DH and I got engaged just before 5 years of dating and married around 6 years. When I think back on my impatience now, I’m like, “What was the rush?!” On the other hand, we were already living together, so we were really just waiting to make it official.

All that said, I would highly encourage you (and anyone who wants to get married) to listen to this podcast episode: http://jesslively.com/katherinewoodwardthomas. Yes, it’s about divorce. But I think the message behind it all is really just about identifying your and your future spouse’s values, seeing where they overlap, and trying to pinpoint any major conflicts. It’d also be good to revisit those values as you get closer to your engagement and marriage, to see if and how they’re evolving so you both know you’re still on the same path. 

 

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