(Closed) Now what?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I don’t understand why you are still seeing each other and talking marraige when you have broken up???

This just doesn’t make sense to me. You are either a couple or not.

Post # 5
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

im confused too 🙁 i thought you wanted to sell your rings? not get new ones!

Post # 9
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think if you’re only dating and taking it slow, you should try to avoid the marriage discussion for now.  It only adds pressure when you’re trying to fix a relationship 🙂  I know it’s very difficult to close the door on the past, but to really move forward you need to look to the future with him, and change some of the patterns that caused you problems first time round.  I totally sympathise with your situation.

As for the rings – I’m a romantic, and a bit traditional – I wouldn’t sell them.  You got those rings when you were going to be his wife, and I think a lot of emotion and memories are attached to them.  If it was me I wouldn’t cash in on them just yet.  Put them somewhere safe while you guys try to work things out.  If it really won’t work, then sell them.  You’ve only been working on your new relationshp with him for a few weeks – don’t do anything hasty.

Best of luck! x

Post # 10
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

If you broke off the engagement, you should give the set back to him. Just tell him you don’t feel right having it. It’s not right to sell it and keep the money. If you do get back together, do you really want the set that you were supposed to have the first time around? I wouldn’t. I’d want a “new start”.

If you are obsessed with sparklies, you should buy yourself something NON engagement-ish. I love jewelry and recently bought a Tiffany’s Sparkler. I just love it. But i think teasing yourself with wedding jewelry and showing it to your ex FI/now Boyfriend or Best Friend is just going to make things worse and possibly cloud your vision. If you’re talking about engagements/moving in/etc 2 YEARS down the road but JUST started dating again, I don’t know if that’s healthy. You have a relationship to repair and you just recently decided you don’t want to marry him. Don’t go down that path until you’re absolutely ready to.

Post # 11
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

First of all I wouldn’t move fast at all.  You can’t ignore your past but already talking about moving in together and marriage seems a little hasty considering what happened. 

I would discuss it with him and see how he feels about you selling the set of rings.  There is no point in keeping them to not wear.  How about you sell it and invest the money?  Or use it for something you need – like car payments or even put it in savings – maybe for another ring one day. 

I wouldn’t worry AT ALL about what your just recently-started-to-date-non-fiance will buy you if you ever get engaged (again).  That seems really silly to worry about.  It sounds like you’re already pressuring him to look at rings when it doesn’t seem time for that.  That doesn’t seem healthy.  What about getting to know each other fresh and healthy?  What about councelling if it will help your relationship.  You could use money for that.

Post # 13
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think that if he bought the engagement ring, and he wants to sell it, then you should sell it and give him the money.  

As for the NEXT engagement ring…well, I would try not to even think about it now. I’d wait until the engagement is really happening, just to save yourself any heartache. Not that it’s not fun to look, of course! And when the time comes, yes, let your opinion be known!

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