Post # 1
I broke up with my fiance, about a month ago/month and a half.
But we are still seeing each other all the time, and I still love him like crazy, and it feels like when we first met again. We have spoken about getting married, getting a house, etc, but in the future, when both of us are in a better place, not only mentally, but physically and financially. I have no problems with this, and am happy with the way our relationship is redeveloping.
But now, I have this gorgeous wedding set that sort of haunts my dreams. What do I do with it? We have discussed selling it, and have decided that’s the best option, but I’m terrified of selling it at the same time. So do I let it rot in my jewelry box, or just take the plunge?
I’m a sucker for pretty bling. I love sparkly. So I was browsing around and found Asha diamonds website, and then their new site that sells settings, all kinds of them, with Asha’s already set! So excited I was. So I showed my ex. And he hates every single setting I’ve shown him! The only ones he really likes are the three stone style. Which makes me a little sad inside, because I’m feeling the more vintage/halo styles. Should I force him to choose something I like in the future, or let him decide?
Let me know what you are all thinking! <3 <3 to my lady bees!
Post # 3
I don’t understand why you are still seeing each other and talking marraige when you have broken up???
This just doesn’t make sense to me. You are either a couple or not.
Post # 4
@noritake22: This. I am very confused by your situation.
Post # 5
im confused too 🙁 i thought you wanted to sell your rings? not get new ones!
Post # 6
This thread might help explain her situation better (she responded twice to it, once two months ago and once tonight):
Have you ever turned down a proposal or broken off an engagement???
Post # 7
Sorry if I have confused everybody!
So. This is whats going down. I broke it off with the fiance about a month/month and half ago. Now I’m trying to decide what to do with the engagement set that he bought, whether I should sell it, or just leave it in my jewelry box.
Since about two weeks ago, we have started dating again, and are taking things slow. Yes we have talked a little about and marriage and moving in together, but as in like a year-2 years from now, but mostly just vague kind of talks. Its hard to ignore our past obviously, and I am obssessed with sparklies. So I was just curious in the future, should we get engaged, if I should just let him choose what he wants for an engagement ring, or force him to get something I love, but he hates.
Hope this clears everything up.
Post # 8
@babyboo: thanks for trying to clear this mess up. i would edit my first post, but for whatever reason it won’t let me, it will only let me reply. lol. <3
Post # 9
I think if you’re only dating and taking it slow, you should try to avoid the marriage discussion for now. It only adds pressure when you’re trying to fix a relationship 🙂 I know it’s very difficult to close the door on the past, but to really move forward you need to look to the future with him, and change some of the patterns that caused you problems first time round. I totally sympathise with your situation.
As for the rings – I’m a romantic, and a bit traditional – I wouldn’t sell them. You got those rings when you were going to be his wife, and I think a lot of emotion and memories are attached to them. If it was me I wouldn’t cash in on them just yet. Put them somewhere safe while you guys try to work things out. If it really won’t work, then sell them. You’ve only been working on your new relationshp with him for a few weeks – don’t do anything hasty.
Best of luck! x
Post # 10
If you broke off the engagement, you should give the set back to him. Just tell him you don’t feel right having it. It’s not right to sell it and keep the money. If you do get back together, do you really want the set that you were supposed to have the first time around? I wouldn’t. I’d want a “new start”.
If you are obsessed with sparklies, you should buy yourself something NON engagement-ish. I love jewelry and recently bought a Tiffany’s Sparkler. I just love it. But i think teasing yourself with wedding jewelry and showing it to your ex FI/now Boyfriend or Best Friend is just going to make things worse and possibly cloud your vision. If you’re talking about engagements/moving in/etc 2 YEARS down the road but JUST started dating again, I don’t know if that’s healthy. You have a relationship to repair and you just recently decided you don’t want to marry him. Don’t go down that path until you’re absolutely ready to.
Post # 11
First of all I wouldn’t move fast at all. You can’t ignore your past but already talking about moving in together and marriage seems a little hasty considering what happened.
I would discuss it with him and see how he feels about you selling the set of rings. There is no point in keeping them to not wear. How about you sell it and invest the money? Or use it for something you need – like car payments or even put it in savings – maybe for another ring one day.
I wouldn’t worry AT ALL about what your just recently-started-to-date-non-fiance will buy you if you ever get engaged (again). That seems really silly to worry about. It sounds like you’re already pressuring him to look at rings when it doesn’t seem time for that. That doesn’t seem healthy. What about getting to know each other fresh and healthy? What about councelling if it will help your relationship. You could use money for that.
Post # 12
Thanks everyone for your input! I’m gonna wait awhile on selling the rings, until my head is in a better place about everything, and you’re right, talking about marriage and whatnot, really kind of too fast at this point.
I think its time I go buy myself a new sparkly though, so I won’t be as tempted to show him engagement stuff lol. Thanks everyone for understanding and being really nice about everything. This really helped.
We will maybe try couples counseling, because the pyschiatrist I am going to go see later on this week does offer that as well, but for now I am just going to go to work on my own issues, and hopefully at the end of it, I will come out a stronger healthier me.
Post # 13
I think that if he bought the engagement ring, and he wants to sell it, then you should sell it and give him the money.
As for the NEXT engagement ring…well, I would try not to even think about it now. I’d wait until the engagement is really happening, just to save yourself any heartache. Not that it’s not fun to look, of course! And when the time comes, yes, let your opinion be known!