(Closed) Now what do I do with the wedding party?!!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I think your best bet would be to contact them ASAP and say, “we’ve had to revise our plans a whole lot due to some unforeseen circumstances, and we’ll be having a much smaller wedding than we originally planned. Unfortunately, one of the things we had to cut out was the bridal party. We wanted to make sure you knew you don’t have to spend your money on the dress/tux and the trip.”

They might still want to come, of course, and so you’ll need to have a response for if they ask whether they’re still invited. And I think anyone who wants to make a 10-hour trip to celebrate with you should be accommodated, along with their spouse, but that’s up to you two.

Post # 5
Member
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I would either cut the bridal party totally (as in have no bridal party) and just have a family only wedding (so no inviting anyone other than family) or find a way to host your guests and the SO’s of the bridal party.

I guess the big question is aren’t these people (the BP) your closests friends? Why wouldn’t you want them at your wedding? Or did you just want 7 BM’s and just picked 7 people to fill spots?

Post # 7
Member
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@sheepandbear:  You know them best so would know how they might react but how would you feel if they excluded your Fiance from their big day? And don’t think about from your stressed out bride perspective but from the perspective of an everyday guest.

I guess it also depends on the future relationships- do you want a furture relationship with your friends and their SO’s or just your friends? And how would they feel about it? It would be pretty awkward to be invited to their wedding next month or year and they include your partner. Obviously these are long term SO’s because your wedding is still awhile off.

Post # 8
Member
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

In my mind, if they were close enough for you to ask them to be in your wedding party, they should be considered close enough to invite to the wedding.  Unfortunately, that includes their SO’s.  I feel for you, but as a PP stated, do you want to keep a friendship with these people in the future? 

Post # 9
Member
866 posts
Busy bee

I would look for a cheaper option so I could have the people I want there without breaking the bank. Is there any other option for you?

Post # 10
Member
44 posts
Newbee

If I were you I would talk to the one I was closest to in the bridal party and explain everything that happened. That person might have an idea to help or might be able to tell you it’s okay to cut the bridal party and maybe help you tell the others in a way that wont hurt thier feelings.

Post # 11
Member
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yikes!  What a crappy situation!  Unfortunately, if you invite your friends you really need to invite their SO’s – even if you don’t know them.  It would be very rude not to, especially since they are over 10 hours away.   Given that, I think you have 2 options.

Option 1: Stick to familiy only.  Your friends will be bummed, but they will definitely understand if you decide to have a small, family only wedding.

Option 2: Find a way to invite the SOs.  The WeddingBee is an AMAZING resource and the ladies here will definitely be able to help you find ways to save money.  If you let us know your plans, we can help you find a way to include everyone.

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