- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
Oh my goodness guys, I don’t even know where to start! My cousin (who is 22.. I’m 24 and Fiance is 31) needed a place to stay so we moved to a 2 bedroom apartment at the same apartment complex we were already in. Fiance was a little apprehensive about this because she works crazy hours (medical field) and will be off work for like a week in a row and stay up super late and party. I told him it’d be fine! We were getting along really well, I mean she IS my cousin AND my MOH! And besides, we could use the extra income to save for the wedding!
Can I just say I didn’t realize how much of a control freak I was until she moved in with us? It’s a 2 bath apartment, but “her” bathroom is also the GUEST bathroom. I like to have nice “fancy” towels hanging to make the bathroom look nice. She ALWAYS uses them and then throws them on the floor. She leaves her stuff scattered all over the counters. Every. Day. I mean, I get leaving some make up out. Maybe even only cleaning up when people come over. Fine. But seriously, it’s make up, hair ties, tooth brush, tooth paste, SHAMPOO, 5 bottles of vitamins, straightener, brush EVERYTHING. All over the counters. But I don’t say anything cause I don’t want to be THAT room mate.
We also have a shoe closet. But she kicks her shoes off (on the carpet) and leaves them there. Sometimes several pairs. I, every day, put them in the closet. Literally, every day. Again, I don’t say anything.
She will use dishes and put them in the sink, even though the dishwasher is completely empty. I actually said something about this cause it was reaaaally annoying and she said oh yea, no problem. Since then, that’s gotten better.
She has never once taken out the trash. And she’s lived there 3 months. She EXPECTS Fiance to do it. She’ll store trash in her room for a week and then bring out this big bag and stick it next to our trash can and expect us to deal with it. Wth?!
We have really crappy internet. Like the lowest internet available at Comcast. Cousin refuses to pay for the internet because she SAYS she never uses it. But every time she’s home, she’s on the internet. Which then bogs down the internet for FI’s video games and my HuluPlus on Xbox. Fiance has asked her SEVERAL times to pitch in for internet, but she won’t. She also doesn’t pay for cable. She rarely pays for groceries.
I try to let little things slide and I don’t hold them against her.. I just fume up and bitch about it to Fiance. But when it starts affecting my sleep, that’s when I get mad. She came home every single night for a week past 2am. She isn’t TOO noisy.. she’ll make food in the kitchen, but that’s it. But Fiance and I leave our door cracked since we have 2 cats. (One cat will meow allll night if we lock her out and also, their food and water is in our room) Well cousin’s bathroom and room are right next to our bedroom. So, cousin will turn on her light and bathroom light at 2am and just go back and forth between the two (God knows doing what) for like 30 min!! It’s annoying. Obviously our door is cracked. I’ve gotten up a couple times to shut our door while she does this and she’s gotta know.
Anyway.. after 3 months of this going on, Fiance asked her if she could just do us a favor by closing the door and THEN turning on the light since the light wakes us up. Her response? “Well, you guys are the ones that leave your door cracked.” Fiance explained why and she was just like okayyy. And I thought that was it. I mean, yes we keep the door cracked, but are we REALLY asking that much?! Just go inside, shut the door, and THEN turn on the light.
Well then, when my brother and his gf were over hanging out (with me, FI and cousin), cousin brought up how Fiance asked her to do this and was super upset about it. She gave me this look like “FI is such an ass.” and I said don’t look at me like that, I’m on his side. And she got pissed. She literally said “Just because you guys want your cats in and out of your room, I have to shut the door AND THEN turn on the light”. I was super irritated because 1. Don’t try to come between me and Fiance. It’s like she was trying to turn me against him. and 2. Don’t do this in front of company- even if it is family!! and 3. it just made her sound super selfish.
Am I wrong here?! I feel like I pick my battles really well with her and while I let a lot of things “slide”, this was one thing I had to bring up. Well, this was on xmas eve and she hasn’t been home since. Fiance texted her he was sorry (they both kinda said mean things to each other in the moment.. but it was all in that sarcastic, but pissed tone of voice) and she never responded.
I really don’t know what to do. Fiance is going to talk to her and say if things are going to be like this, maybe she should find someone else to live. But it’s soo awkward! She’s family and my Maid/Matron of Honor. I just don’t know how the situation blew up like it did. And now I don’t know what to do! It’s like every time I try to talk to her, she acts like I’m being a bitch but I try sooo hard to be nice. I just don’t know how to compromise with her?!
ANY advice is appreciated, Bees! 🙂