Post # 1
Bridesmaid or Best Man DRAMA
so, we’re 5.5 months out from the wedding, 5 months ’til vegas for the bach party, 3.5 months from the shower…
and last night i found out that two of my BM’s may not be speaking to each other in a week.
i’ll try to keep it as short as possible.
all three of us have been friends since we were in elem school. there’s always been a weird shift between who’s closer (as often happens between 3 friends)… but in the last five years or so we’ve all matured to a point (we’re all in our mid 20’s) where we are close and pretty much consider each other sisters (as i do my other 2 bm’s and moh).
anyway, i found out from bm#1 that bm#2’s mom has been spreading rumors about bm#1 to bm#1’s mom and their mutual mom friends… (happens a lot in the korean mom world)… bm#1 feels like she can’t trust bm#2 anymore and wonders between friends, why she would tell her mom nitty gritty details about each other’s lives for something like this to even happen (esp at our age now and all that we’ve been thru in our teen years).
bm#1 has been holding back for the last month or so, not saying a word to bm#2… for the sake of my wedding events etc.
i told bm#1 last night that i’m going to stay out of it as much as i can, but that if she needed to talk to bm#2, not to worry about me or the wedding stuff; that i’d deal with it even if they chose not to talk anymore.
blahh. i want to stay out of it and i really will deal with whatever they decide to do, but i can’t help but feel like i’m stuck in the middle no matter what. if i don’t say anything to bm#2 and give her a warning (then she’ll wonder why i pretended not to have known before she was confronted)… if i do say something to bm#2, then bm#1 will wonder why i broke her trust esp about somethign like this…
bla bla bla.
sorry for whining. this is why i love the bee.
so what do i do now? and what do i do later if they really aren’t talking after the “confrontation?” any bees ever had to deal with BM’s that weren’t all that close or even friends that became enemies before YOUR wedding day?
Post # 3
Wow, that is tough.
I would think that if they hold you as a very dear friend, that no matter what happened between BM#1 and BM#2 that they would suck it up for your wedding and festivities.
I think that you are doing the right thing by staying out of it.
Post # 4
Oh no. I would try to stay out of it as much as possible. Hopefully things will work out and they can remain friends. If they cannot remain friends, I hope that the two of them will not hold their differences with one another against you and try to peacefully co-exhist at your wedding. Unfortunately this is kinda of a “wait and see” situation for you. My thoughts are with you!
Post # 5
don’t get into it. hope that they will resolve things before then!! there’s still a couple months.
Post # 6
I would also try to stay out of it as much as possible. When and if BM#2 asks why you didn’t say something, just tell her that you were told in confidence and that you want to be friends with both of them, and you felt that if you broke the trust with BM#1, you would have reason to beleive that BM#2 wouldn’t be able to trust you in the future because you broke the trust of BM#1.
I really hope that made sense 🙂
Post # 7
PinkSparkleGrl is right….they should suck it up. I have having a formally married couple in my wedding party. Yep, one bridesmaid used to be married to one groomsmen. Awkward, yes…but also manageable, only if everyone can suck it up for your sake. However, two girls may be a worse situation with the caddiness & drama. I wish you the best!
Post # 8
thanks ladies, i’ve decided to stay out of it and not saying anything to bm#2 for now, it doesn’t involve me directly in any way… and hopefully things will tide over between them. it’s been okay for now, because i don’t think they’ve met up to talk just yet…
but keeping my fingers crossed that BM#2 understands why i stayed out of it…. and both of them can work it out in time for the wedding festivities.
Post # 9
Glad to hear you’ve decided to stay out of it. The last thing you need are friendship problems right now, especially with your bridesmaids! That’s WAY too much stress, believe me — I’ve been there.
Your objective for your wedding is to have a beautiful wedding and for your bridesmaids to be bridesmaids. That might not happen if you get in the middle…glad to hear you decided not to.
Post # 10
UPDATE!… of course i get a text message from BM#2 this am, asking to get coffee on my lunch break… DO WE EVER GET TOGETHER ON MY LUNCH BREAK?
i’m not worried about friends being mad or even the drama cuz like i said before, im not involved in any way…
BUT, i don’t want to be the one stuck in the middle listening to two of my besties bad mouthing each other over a frivolous fight!
i have this queasy feeling in my stomach and i just cant remember the last time i felt this in the pit of my stomach. IT SUCKS AND I HATE IT! and this is why i’m SO glad i’m not a teenager anymore!
BOOOOOO to bm’s who bring drama into your life for petty reasons that don’t even involve you!!!!
thanks for letting me vent again bees!