(Closed) NWR 40ish women; where do you meet friends, where’d you meet the ones you have

posted 7 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
Member
58 posts
Worker bee

@MsInterpret:It sounds like you’re social and it’s easy for you to make friends.  I met my 2 best friends from http://www.meetup.com three years ago and counting.  It’s a online based social organization.  Just type your interest and city, and up comes a group and when & where to meet.  It’s a great way to find new friends,or just someone to hang out with.  There’s no cost or obligation-just meeting others with similar interests.    Give it a try.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I know that it is crazy that in our twenties and thirties it seemed like we had a ton of friends around all the time, but as life goes, so do those friends as people get busy with lives and families of their own.

I agree that Meetup.com is a great start!  You can also do some volunteering or get involved in a local cause.  I have also met people of similar interests at book stores like Barnes and Nobles.  Once when I was bored while my son was picking out a book, I started turning around all the books with a certain politicians face on them and a complete stranger came and introduced herself because she thought it was funny.  I met her for coffee at that same book store every week until she moved out of the state.

You might also consider starting an “nontraditional” student group at your school, your student senate will be able to tell you how to do that.  I am sure there are other nontraditional students at you college that are in the same situation as yourself, and there may be issues on campus that you can work to help with concerning nontraditional students.

Post # 5
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I turned fourty this year and at the same time moved to the burbs with the Fiance.

Before that I was a downtown girl who went out and partied and just had lots of singe girl fun.

My friends are late 20s early 30s and only one of the three has a bf, so the age gap doesn’t help a lot. But we are growing apart.  I am too in the need to make new friends. 

 

Post # 6
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I believe as we get older we have fewer friends.  With moving, job changes and just life happening our friend lists thin out.  My childhood friend from 6th grade lives around the corner and we occasionally shop together but mostly visit and have coffee.  We both like to cook so we share recipes and do homemaker type stuff.  I go out and party with my girlfriends from work.  We go out dancing every now and then, go for lunch a lot in the summers and we’ll have potluck gatherings where we laugh and play party games like Guessture or Taboo.  DH and I have another set of friends from church where we go to free concerts in the park, go out to dinner, have potluck dinners etc.  I guess I’m trying to say you meet different friends in different places and even more importantly you have different sets of friends for different activities.  It seems to me you would meet people at school.  You may have to initiate and/or host events to get things going.  I love to entertain so I’m always volunteering my home and I’m often suggesting events to attend.  

Post # 7
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have two very close friends – one I grew up with and have known since I was three years old.  The other, I met at my first “real” job after I graduated from college in my early 20’s.  The three of us have remained close through everything. 

I have a handful of “distant” friends.  Ones that I email regularly and keep in touch as far as what is going on in our lives but we don’t often get together.  I also have friends through work, people to talk to, but outside of work, I don’t normally get together with them.

For me, the biggest difference (moreso than age) is my children.  I had my children when I was 27 and 29 years old and they automatically moved into first position.  They are teenagers now and are getting to the age of not always wanting to hang out with me, and honestly it will be VERY STRANGE to once again have time, if I did want to go out and do something.

My fiance is 11 years younger than me and has his original “crew” of friends from high school.  It’s actually been amazing to me how close they’ve all remained.  I have their girlfriends as friends, but like you said, it’s hard to have something in common with them because they’re younger.

Post # 8
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I belong to a Writer’s Group, and have facilitated and attended workshops for writers and artists, and have met many wonderful women through those experiences. I also have several women friends from my current church, and my former church in my hometown, that I am very close too. I also got involved in a few Meet-Up groups, one for people who like board games, and one for people who like to cook, and have met many people through that (www.meetup.com).

 

Post # 9
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I will be turning 40 next year. (Ok, that sounds SO bad! How did this happen? Oh, right, this isn’t about me, lol). I, too, have very few friends. Those I do have, are very well trusted and mean very much to me. One is the girl I met in high school when we were 16. That kind of bond just dosen’t break. Another is an older lady I used to work with and we still get together on occasion for dinners. Finally, the other 2? They are cyber friends! We met online but have clicked so well, that our relationship has grown and only distance and travel keep us from seeing each other. I’m not sad about the lack of women in my life. My sister is truly my best friend. Those I “Partied” with when I was younger now have men in their lives and “don’t need me anymore”. That’s fine. I’d rather a few genuine friends than friends who pretend to be until Mr. Dreamboat calls. What else do I truly need except my wonderful husband? ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

Well guys I can’t really begin to decribe how sh*tty I feel right now.

All my friends are late 20s early 30s and I think that has a lot to do with it.  And the fact that they are all still ‘downtown girls’ as I used to be.  Meaning.. very “Sex and the City” lifestyles or as much as someone can be in Ottawa, anyways! lol

My friends are just slipping away. Since my Fiance got deployed besides the odd ‘Hope your good” FB wall post, and one phone call, not one has really inquired about getting together. 

And I know getting together = me catchig the bus (I don’t drive and live on the Quebec side of the river so getting to them is not five minute thing) and us going out partying.  I’m SICK of partying!  I’m 40 and, although I was okay with it in moderation, I’ve been getting sick of it for years now and now I guess I can say, I’m done!  I’m done with going to clubs, I’m done with spending all my money on drinks and cabs.  I’m done with staying out so late I sleep the whole next day away and waste it.

I would be thrilled to have someone who might be happy to go for a hike during the day and then have a girls BBQ and make pomanders and watch SYTD!

I love my friends, but I really wish I could meet some girls who are a little more in the same life phase as me.

*sigh*

// End vent

๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Oneeleven:

Hey, I just had to reply to you because you’re probably sitting at a computer not 20 minutes away from me right now. I was a downtown girl. Right on Elgin Street in fact (being from Ottawa, I’m sure you know where that is!). And damn, girl, I miss it. Not the partying because like you, I am over that phase. But it’s like that old song “When you’re alone and life is getting you lonely, you can always go…downtown”. But I was single then, and being downtown where the action was and tourists were made me feel less invisible. Not to mention the awesome convience as I don’t drive. I worked across the street from my apartment! Imagine how lucky I got finding that job!

I, too, would rather have a SATC marathon and wine and chat with my closest friends who are still dating losers (their words), spending their entire paychecks on clothes and basically not thinking of the future.

Then I look at my hubby and remember that our future is what I was also striving for, looking for. The future babies, the potential new home and countless adventures with the one you love.

Don’t feel sh!tty. Throw your own BBQ and see who shows up. If it’s only you and hubby sharing beers and laughs, you will still be happy! That’s how we feel. We have no desire to go downtown friday for Canada Day. We’re going to my married sister’s house for a BBQ instead.

Life changes, we grow older, but we’re only as old as we feel. (Cliche, but true ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

@Just_Squeeze:

Haha! I used to live right near the Pretoria Bridge and I worked on Elgin when I was working in the restaurant biz.

I recently lived in the East Market condos.  Those big glass wall condos near the Sally Anne in the market?  i miss my darling little place.

I hear you about the BBQ.  My Fiance and I are truly each others best friends but he is deployed so besides a visit in Oct, my DFH is overseas for the next 6-7 months. (and has been away for the previous 2 except for 3 weeks of that here and there).I am super lonely and have reached out and received the results of “So and so is DJing at this club for Canada day.. we can go to that and then the after party is at my place”….. lol.  I just want to kick back and BBQ with someone, ya know? lol

I guess my noticing the lack of ‘connection’ that I have to my friends all of the sudden is because I am just not falling back into the lifestyle we used to share together. If I still lived in my old condo, I am sure it would be easier.

Post # 13
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Oneeleven:

Maybe I should PM you for details! I want to know which resto you worked in! And I know the condos you are talking about!

Sorry I didn’t catch that earlier or read your bio. It must be hard to have your fiance away. See? If we had met a few months sooner you could come to my sis’s house for a kick back BBQ! I hope whatever you do with your friends, you find yourself looking down at your ering and smiling that “life is good”. They may have the single life, but you have the love of your life ๐Ÿ™‚ Who knows? Maybe you will just decide to stay home with your bevi of choice and watch your fave sappy movies in your pjs and love every minute of it! I used to do that quite a bit and although I was lonely, of course, there was also nothing terribly wrong with my life. It just got BETTER when I met hubby!

Post # 14
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

@Just_Squeeze:

I probably would have sucked it up and hit the DJ party but I am actually going cottaging the next morning with family that is from out of town.  I want to be in good shape to jetski and fish so I am just gonna mow the lawn in my Canada Day hat instead! lol

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