(Closed) NWR- am I wrong?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I personally don’t think you are wrong. And if they can not understand too bad for them. This is for the safety and well-being of your daughter.

Trust me I can completely relate to this whole parent not understanding thing. I say do what you have to do and eventually they will understand. And if they don’t understand then eventually they will “forgive you” (even though there is nothing to forgive you for).

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Nope.

Your daughter’s safety comes first, and if you don’t feel comfortable having her around strange men that’s completely reasonable.

Post # 5
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

You have to do what’s best for your child. Even if it was just you yeah I’d feel a little weird staying in a house with some guy I’ve never met. But when you have a daughter you have to be extra careful. I’d definitely not be staying with some guy that’s in and out of jail and it’s a little odd that your sister doesn’t understand that. I can see why your mom doesn’t understand but the safety and well being of your daughter comes first. You are not selfish and you should definitely be proud of yourself, lots of women unfortunately don’t think like you do.

Post # 6
Member
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

No way, kids safety is the most important thing!  I would do the same as you.

Post # 7
Member
671 posts
Busy bee

You are the parent and you make the decisions for your daughter. You are not wrong, you are chosing to raise your daughter in an environment that you find suitable. I don’t blame you. Your mother is prob upset that she won’t get to see her grand daughter as much… But no, you are not being selfish

Post # 8
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m kind of surprised that your mom, AS A MOM, doesn’t get this! You’re not wrong at all, jeez! You’re being a totally good mom.

Post # 9
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would do the same.  I don’t think it’s wrong at all, especially since she hasn’t been with her bf for that long and you never met him.  I would be uncomfortable (especially having my daughter there), I’m surprised your mother isn’t more understanding of that.

Post # 10
Member
2262 posts
Buzzing bee

You are definitely not wrong or selfish. You are looking out for you and your daughter and making a decision that is right for both of you. I know that you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so maybe you could find an excuse to not be there that doesn’t make them take offense?

Post # 11
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

I am so with you on this one. When we lived with my mom, if she wanted to have a male guest overnight my daughter and I would stay at a friend’s house.

You just never know. I would never have been able to forgive myself if my mom brought home who she thought was this fabulous guy and he then hurt my daughter.

Even if this guy is wonderful, he is still a male stranger being brought into your and her home.

Post # 12
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If you trust your Grandma’s choice in partners, I think it would be best to stay with her to avoid hurting relationships. If you have a reason to suspect the guys not that great, then you have every right.

But I would try to spin it as “we don’t want to put you out, and will honestly be more comfortable in a hotel room where I don’t have to worry about my daughter crying and waking people up in the middle of the night/making a mess at your house/etc.” That would probably be better than just flat out saying you don’t like her new boyfriend.

Post # 15
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I don’t think you are wrong and would do the same thing in this situation.  Trusting grandma has nothing to do with it.  He can be a fine upstanding citizen, but I’m not going to have my child stay over in a house with a man I don’t know well.

Post # 16
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@cyndistar3:  I agree with the other ladies, stay somewhere you and your daughter will be safest. Besides, your grandmother will love having her great-granddaughter around and (to me) it’s more important for great-grandmom to have the little one around more, since she’s the eldest of the family.

Reason being, my grandmother died when my son was a baby and my grandfather died when my daughter was a baby.  My son remembers my grandfather, but not my grandmother and my daughter will never remember my grandfather.  

So, I’m all for you staying at your grandmother’s for that reason alone!!!!  

Plus, I’d imagine your grandmother gets lonely sometimes. 😉 

See, two really good logical reasons for you to stay with grandmother!!! 😀

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