(Closed) NWR: Any dual-military couples out there? Thinking of becoming one…

posted 8 years ago in Military
  • poll: Is it a good idea for me to join the Army if it would make us a dual-military couple?
    Yes, it may be hard, but it's worth it. [please elaborate in the comments :) ] : (6 votes)
    33 %
    No way, girl! Being married to someone in the military is hard enough! : (10 votes)
    56 %
    other (please explain) : (2 votes)
    11 %

    17 votes

    • Post # 1
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Hi, ladies!

    My husband is currently an officer in the Army, and plans to make this his career.  Recently, we have been discussing the idea of becoming a dual-military couple…aka me joining the Army.  Are any of you part of a dual-military couple, or do you know a couple who is?  How feasible has it been for you/them, and what feedback can you offer me?

     

    I should add that my husband is branched Infantry, so unless I was assigned to a support unit attached to his battalion/brigade, the likelihood of us deploying together is slim.  We don’t have children, and are not in a hurry to have any 😉

    Thanks for the feedback!

    Tagged: , , , ,

    Post # 3
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    PS – this is my FIRST post 🙂  Took me long enough!

    Post # 4
    Member
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    My FH ex wife was in the military and so is he.  He hated it because he couldn’t ‘get away’ from the Army ever.  He also didn’t like the fact that his wife-at-the-time dressed like him on a daily basis. (Eg… he LOVES that I wear suits and feminine clothing and tells me so every morning).

    So above is a bit of superficial and not so superficial reasoning.

    But… the perks of both of you being in the Army as far as benefits, pension and job security goes? Bar none.

    Edit: I clicked your “no way girl” option in the poll but meant to click “other”, because as you can tell by my post, I think there are pros and cons to both.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    3526 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    My Brother-In-Law and his wife are both in the Air Force and it works just fine for them. They certainly have WAY more benefits as a married couple in the AF than my husband and I do!

    It’s my understanding that when you are married they tend to deploy you together or at least give you the option of. When they were engaged and in the early stages of planning their wedding my Brother-In-Law found out he was going to get deployed to Turkey for 2-3 years. They told him that his then Fiance would not be deployed with him unless they were married. So they did a quickie wedding.

    However, fast forward to present time. My Brother-In-Law is now nearing the end of his 6month deployment in Afghanistan. When he comes back after a month his wife will be deployed to Afghanistan for 6 months. They have two young girls.

    I do feel the need to say though my BILs deployment was a choice on his part. And his wife has only been deployed once overseas in all her years in the AF and it was to Italy, not exactly a battle zone. So this is the first time she has ever been deployed to a war zone.

    I guess my question is why do you want to join the Army?

    Post # 6
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @Gerbera: Hat’s off to your Brother-In-Law & wife!  It sounds like they’ve figured out a way to make it work for their familly. (even though being apart for roughly a year would be tough regardless of who is gone)

    There are several reasons why I’m thinking of joining.

    1) Job security.  Despite the fact that I have a bachelor’s degree, I have had trouble locating jobs in my career field each time we move.  It’s pretty much like I hit the restart button every 1.5-3 years…and that is frustrating and admittedly hurts my ego.  I’d like to invest in a job/career that will move with me.  Because of my degree, I have the option of doing a direct commission as an officer into several branches of the Army.  I wouldn’t have to go through basic training, but I would attend branch-specific officer leadership school.

    2) Financial perks/benefits.  As you mentioned, your Brother-In-Law & his wife have great benefits 🙂  This is so true for any branch…I already have health insurance through my husband, so that wouldn’t change if I joined.  Because I attended a private university, my student loans are pretty sizeable; the Army has incentives for incoming officers, and one of those is loan repayment.  To have my debt wiped clean would be a pretty HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders!

    3) Service.  While my political views don’t always match those of our current administration, I have a great deal of pride for our country and armed forces, especially now that my husband is actively serving.  I’m currently very involved in volunteering with his battalion/company, and honestly, I find myself wishing that I had a more integral role.  Joining would allow me to serve our country, and our soldiers as well.

    I hope that gave you some insight into my brain 🙂  I’m still on the fence, mainly b/c I’m having a hard time finding out details regarding deployments, and duty stations (whether or not we will be assigned to the same one, always).  Thanks for the insight! 🙂

    @Oneeleven: I know what you mean about the ACUs!  For some reason, even the most gorgeous girl can end up looking pretty bland in them!

    You brought up a great point: ‘getting away’ from the Army.  It’s challenging for us to do that now, so I do wonder if the Army would completely consume our life if I joined.  I don’t mind that we talk about his job on a regular basis, because I’m genuinely interested in 95% of what he does, so during the week it wouldn’t be a problem….but weekends are sacred time, and it would bother me if I had responsibilities (Staff Duty, Company presence, etc) that took time away from our familiy.

    Thanks for the input, ladies! 🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    3526 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @Mrs. Ranger:

    Yea, I think they calculated that in the span of one year they will only see each other for like 5 weeks.

    By The Way, great responses. I was just wondering -knowing third hand how much it can consume you and your family- what your reasons are. They shouldn’t all be just for the benefits. Or the fact that your husband is in the service.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    2385 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Mrs. Ranger: It seems like you’re doing it for the right reasons. Go for it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @Gerbera: You’re exactly right; someone’s motives for joining any branch most definitely should be more than convenience and benefits…if that’s all they have, they’re in for a tough road ahead.  Our life together is already consumed by work/Army, but that, in part, has to do with my husband’s specific job and his personality…”Be the best of the best.  Always.”  (I wish that I could elaborate more, but b/c of OPSEC, I feel like I would be divulging too much.)

    He and I both have strong personalities (not in a negative way), so another desire of mine is to find a career that I can pour my energy into, and have my own sense of purpose.  Right now, my energy is going toward assisting him and his unit, which is fulfilling, but not completely so.  I’m not content being a stay-at-home wife, so I am contemplating my next move 🙂  (One other career option I’m strongly considering is graduate school -> family counseling)

    @MissHobbit: I read the post you wrote about soldiers and their spouses having compatable careers…and girl, I feel ya!  How are things working out for you two in that area?  Also, what was the title of the book recommended in the thread? 

    Post # 10
    Member
    2385 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Mrs. Ranger: I’m not sure what the book was, but we’re doing better than ever. We’re in an LDR but because I have a good job where I live I’m able to fly out and see him 1-2 times a month so it isn’t that bad. He’s had some developments in his career that have changed his mind about going career, so that puts an end in site for all the distance. We have talked about the possibility of being married but living apart for a short while as well, so that’s something. 

     

    I wish you the best!

    Post # 11
    Member
    375 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    My hubby and I were together for 3+ years while both serving. We DID get married after I got out. I unfortunatly had to get out due to an injury. But still living together, managing our home and family.

    It was hard at times, but you find a way to make it work. I would NOT have gotten out if I didnt have to. I loved it, loved my job.

    Post # 12
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @Mrs. Ranger:

    Something else you might want to consider is working as a civilian for DOD.  There are many oportunities for military spouses to work as a civilian on post/base (whatever it may be) and still have the great benefits.  The plus side to that is that if you have a DOD job and your husband gets a new duty station your job will go with you.  My Fiance has been in the Navy for 13 1/2 years (we have been together for 6) and he just got stationed in the middle of nowhere Texas where there is nothing for me to do there so that is what I am looking into.  I have also looked into going into to the service but as I have found over the years (especially the past 4 where he has been boots on ground for 2 1/2 of them) being a military spouse is a very difficult job in itself.  I did not want to chance him being gone for 9-12 months and then me turn around and have to leave.  The first few months after he gets home has proven to be a crutial time for us and I felt it is a part of my duty to be there for him. 

    I am not saying that joining and having a duel-military relationship is bad…just wasn’t the route we chose to take.  There are a lot of different options out there so make sure and take those into consideration before you sign a contract.  Good luck on the decision!  I’m sure it will all work out perfectly.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    375 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Agree with Sweettart. That is also another aoption. Thats what I am doing now. I am not DoD but I am a Gov Contractor. There are ALWAYS options for employment on base and you always have a “foot in” being a mil spouse.

    Post # 14
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @KT_Williams:

    @sweettart507:

    Thanks for the feedback, ladies!  The DoD path may be the best fit for us, as I want to be able to physically be there for him when he leaves for, and returns from a deployment. 

    Any tips for me when applying for DoD/gov contracting jobs?  From what I understand, in order for me to get spousal preference, Darling Husband will have to get his orders ammended (we were not married when his orders were issued).

    Post # 15
    Member
    5 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I’m not looking to discourage you, but I don’t think you should join thinking it will provide you with job security. That is one huge misconception about the military. Though I was AF not Army, I was an active duty offficer and thought I was going to make a career of it but the AF had another ideas. Though we are currently “at war” budget cuts are leading to personnel cuts and it really seems an awful lot of the “good” people are getting cut and too many of the brown-nosing, self-serving folks are staying in. I realize that sounds bitter but I’m not–its just a reality and I’ve been seeing it each year since 2006 when they first started this round of downsizing. Again, I’m not wanting to discourage, just enlighten. I think that if you think it will work for you and your husband, that is awesome and go for it. I loved being active duty and enjoy serving still as a reservist. Best of luck with your decision. As far as DoD/gov contracting jobs, your best bet is to head to USAjobs.gov and there is a booklet you can download that they produced to help you build your resume. Gov resumes are way different from the typical civilian resume so you may want to look for workshops in the local area that help with specifically that. You hubby should be able to direct you to the right office on post that might offer a workshop or even one-on-one help…I don’t know what it would be for the Army but in the AF its typically Family Support…maybe FRG? Or is that only for stuff surrounding deployment?

    Post # 16
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @BelmontSquirrel:  I’m sorry to hear that good AF officers are being downsized…that is really unfortunate! 

    As far as finding guidance on-post, the FRG is a good jumping-off point, but not really the resource I’d recommend for in-depth assistance/advice.  I’m an FRG key caller, so I have all of the contact #s and information…I guess I was seeking pointers or “insider advice” 😉 

    I’ve held two government jobs, so I’m familiar with the USAjobs site and resume, but neither was DoD.  Glad to hear the format is the same!

     

     

     

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