(Closed) NWR: Anyone want to critique my donation request letter?

posted 7 years ago in Career
Post # 4
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Sounds good to me 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Oh I had a whole thing written out that didn’t go through… I said to add a picture, people love pictures with donations. Do you hvae any of your tree from last year or of any of the kids recieving gifts?

Post # 7
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Corilee13: I don’t think this is crap at all, but – I’ve had to write a few of these letters before, so here are my thoughts. If you are sending it to personal friends/family, feel free to use the first person “I”, but for businesses, I would use “we” or your company’s name.  

Instead of “our patrons” – the families we serve, or something about the specific population that will be receiving the donations – overall, the more specific the better. 

Is your company a non-profit? If so, include that, so people will know they can get a tax deduction (especially important for businesses). 

 

Just my two cents!

Post # 8
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think it is a great letter , I wouldnt put it in first person – 

 

Dear Family and Friends [or business name],

 I am contacting you on behalf of (my company), where we are committed to youth development, healthy living and social responsibility. (or perhaps a different intro line since this is essentially repeated in the second paragraph)

This year we will have our holiday food and toy drive geared toward providing the community with much needed support during what can be a very stressful time of year. I am contacting you on behalf of the (my company) and the fund raising team to request your support in the form of a tax-deductible donation.

For those of you who are not familiar with our organization, the (my company) is committed to not only promoting the physical health of our patrons, but their mental and spiritual health as well. The overall well being of our members, their guests and our community is our top priority. We are dedicated to providing programs that address the varying needs of the people in our community.

We are kindly asking you to offer your support this year by giving a tax-deductible donation to the (my company). We work very hard to provide relief for families in need each year and we hope we can count on you for a generous donation. However, please note that any donation, whether it be product, gift cards or monetary, is always welcomed and greatly appreciated.

We (at said company) thank you for your time and consideration. We look forward to whatever support you can provide. If you require additional information about the (my company), please contact (your name instead of me) and we will be happy to answer any questions you may have. You may also visit (our website) online or contact us directly by phone at: (our phone number)

Thank you again for your consideration. The (us) couldn’t do it without the generosity of donors like you.

 

That is literally just a skim over feedback so I might have missed some things – but just an overall gist of my opinion 🙂 

Post # 10
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Sorry I would also replace generous contribution with kind donation (or just replace generous ,,, as it may seem like you are looking for more than they could be willing to give) 

Post # 11
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Is the food drive annual?

Post # 12
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Corilee13: Nope, it sounds alot like the ones I get in the mail all the time. Haven’t you gotten those in the mail? I give to a couple every year, so I get a ton from other places wanting money

Post # 13
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@CanadianMermaid: you’re right, contribution instead of donation

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