(Closed) NWR – Babies at fancy restaurants – yes or no?

posted 8 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Would you take a young baby to a fancy restaurant?

    Yes

    No

    Depends on the situation (like if my babysitter canceled)

  • Post # 212
    Member
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @barbie86:  Are people defending the parents with screaming babies in elegant restaurants? Where?

    Post # 213
    Member
    3423 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @annifer:  I was wondering this too.  At most people defended stepping outside with baby when it begins to cry, as I saw it.

    Post # 214
    Member
    528 posts
    Busy bee

    @MrsWBS:  It’s a cultivated atmosphere, and once it is botched, it’s difficult to get back into that swing. Not impossible, of course, but I can’t help but feel you are over focusing on her word choice and picking it apart rather than discussing the issue, which is that you feel people should tolerate and recovery from a certain amount of babies howling in upscale venues, and she doesn’t feel any amount of howling babies is appropriate (unless I am reading your points wrong?)

    View original reply
    @Atalanta: Please take a moment to retread her post. She points out that lack of responsibility from a small (but increasing) number of parents is what is making it necissarily buyout blanket bans for even responsible adults. Though I don’t agree with her. I think the bans should be in place because babies straight up don’t belong there, and no amount of hearing parents talk about how they have birthed The Golden Child is going to convince me that babies belong in upscale dining establishments. 

    Post # 215
    Member
    2001 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I have a 9 month old son, and I wouldn’t dream of taking him to a place like Alinea.  Count me among the bees who think there are some places babies and young children just do not belong, period.  A fine restaurant people reserve months in advance and pay hundreds of dollars a head to enjoy the food and atmosphere is one of those places.

    I also wouldn’t make a non-refundable $400 reservation that I couldn’t afford to lose.  Shit happens; things come up, especially with a baby.

    Post # 216
    Member
    5229 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    @MarriedToMyWork:  Totally agreed.

    I think it’s worth noting, too, that the reason children behave so well at restaurants in Europe even at a young age is that they are taken to them all the time from infancy and that parents have clear expectations for their behavior. Furthermore, most Europeans are fairly sympathetic and understanding when the babies and toddlers have a baby or toddler moment which makes it possible for parents to take some risks as they educate their children in proper behavior. Obviously, a restuarant like Alinea is not the place to test that out.

    Post # 217
    Member
    6375 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    I can’t believe some of these responses.

    Going to restaurants is an important part of a child’s socialisation. It is completely unreasonable to impose a no-child policy, and I would not eat at any restaurant which imposed such a policy on principle.

    Just try having a child-free restaurant in Europe… you wouldn’t get very far.

    Post # 219
    Member
    6375 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    @mrsSonthebeach:  I’m just not entirely sure where people are making the link between child at restaurant/ at ballet = spolied brat, either.

    I went to all of these places from a very young age, and my behaviour was policed with an iron fist.

    Post # 221
    Member
    6606 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @Rachel631:  No one is saying children can’t go to restaurants. No one is saying that kids have to stay home locked in a closet, unsocialized, like a feral cat. People are only saying that there are some restuarants that are not appropriate for unruly behavior, be it from children, drunk people, or people who just don’t care. 

    There may not be an official “no children” policy at any of Gordon Ramsay’s restaurants, but he has actually banned HIS OWN KIDS from dining at his Michelin-starred famous restaurants. Many of which just so happen to be in Europe. The reason? He wants them to be free to be kids before they get too old.  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-168202/Chef-Ramsay-bans-kids.html

    In other words… if Chef Ramsay, a father who also makes oodles of money by filling up his restaurants, thinks his own high-end restaurants are not a suitable place for kids. Granted, it is for different reasons, but the lesson is the same: some places are just not meant for children.

    Post # 222
    Member
    3076 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2000

    @ButterflyButterfly:  awwwwww, the liddle mommy and daddy couldn’t bear to miss their speshial nite because, you know, they are such very very speshial people and they deserve this night out!. In their entire lifetime they will have only one opportunity to eat a nice meal in a good restaurant.

    I makes me so sad when that kind of day-spoiling thing happens like a babysitter cancelling.

    Good for them to go, and they didn’t miss even one moment of this lifetime event by removing their inconvenient child from the table! I am so happy for them.

    Not.

    Now for my real answer: your poll dpesn’t capture, to me, the essence of the problem. I could see perhaps taking a tiny baby, a newborn who sleeps all the time, to an upscale restaurant. That’s unusual, but I could see it. But the cardinal sin isn’t taking the kid, the sin is in failing to stand up from the table and walk away with the screaming child, going into the lobby. Or the car garage. Or wherever the noise will not bother other customers.  Due to the nasty cold weather in Chicago it seems very silly to me to take a baby who potentially will scream to a place where one can’t escape outside when the screaming begins.

     

     

     

    Post # 223
    Member
    5229 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    @Horseradish:  There were actually people on here saying that Applebees should be the limit on the level of restaurant that children should be taken to. There are places that it’s best not to bring children to, but some people were taking it way too far.

    Post # 224
    Member
    6375 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    @Horseradish:  Then the children should have their behaviour policed adequately by their parents, that’s the bottom line.

    The idea that kids should be special snowflakes who should have their own world outside of the adult world where they can feel free scream and act feral is what is spoiling the children of today, IMO. What does “being children” mean exactly? It seems to mean they are somehow excused poor behavior. If they are not excused, then why couldn’t they join their parents?

    The only reason places could possibly be unsuitable for children is if they are A) unsafe, B) the adults intend to act inappropriately… stripping, sex acts in public etc C) the children are permitted to act inappropriately.

    I fail to see why any of those reasons should apply to a restaurant.

    Post # 225
    Member
    2001 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I agree going to things like restaurants and plays can be an important part of a child’s socialization, but only when they reach an age/developmental stage that they can understand the concept of appropriate vs. inappropriate behavior.  Obviously an 8 month old baby like the one at Alinea cannot be expected to understand “no; stop screaming” and conform their behavior to what is acceptable.

    Post # 226
    Member
    702 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @Rachel631:  “Just try having a child-free restaurant in Europe… you wouldn’t get very far.” Lucky us! We’d have to resort to take-outs all the time otherwise, which we’re doing often enough as is 😉

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