(Closed) NWR – Babies at fancy restaurants – yes or no?

posted 8 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Would you take a young baby to a fancy restaurant?

    Yes

    No

    Depends on the situation (like if my babysitter canceled)

  • Post # 227
    Member
    6605 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @Rachel631:  Children, no matter how well behaved they are on most days, still have their moments, and they are unpredictable creatures.  If you go to a nice dinner and don’t want your phone to interrupt the other diners or your own enjoyment, do you just cross your fingers and pray no one calls you? Most likely, you put it on silent!  You acknowledge that the phone may be a nuisance and you take appropriate steps to ensure your phone doesn’t annoy yourself or others— and you do this (if you have any manners)  when you go to a church, a wedding, a funeral, a class, a movie, anywhere else that would warrant a peaceful, quiet, respectful environment.

    The problem is that so many people on this thread are not willing to acknowledge that #1 a child’s behavior is unpredictable  #2 a child’s behavior may be an unwanted nuisance to others and #3 that nuisance is not expected in certain settings.

    Post # 228
    Member
    3076 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2000

    @Rachel631:  Look, plenty of small children CANNOT sit still and be “good” for any more than 12 minutes because they are not physically wired that way. It’s not their fault. It’s the fault of parents who do not understand the need to exercise their children as many people do their dogs. Laughing It’s the fault of parents  who expect adult behavior from chidren who don’t have adult psysiology.

    Taking children to restaurants in general is fine and I agree that those kids who are capable of learning correct behavior should be taught it, and in that learning period there will be some bumps, some meltdowns, some problem behaviors.

    But very high end restaurants? Untested, untrained children? And the real problem, clueless parents who don’t remove a screaming child? uh, no.

    Post # 229
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m surprised (somewhat) of the debate this turned into.  Just use common sense, and chances are people won’t get upset with you when it comes to your children.

    I work part time in a craft beer bar (that also legally is required to serve food, but really, it’s a bar) that has the word “Beer” in the name. 

    If parents had common sense, they wouldn’t bring their children into a bar with beer in the name.  And then complain about the lack of high chairs.  And kids menus.

    But many parents today just don’t have that common sense.  Know where to take your kids, and where to pick your battles.

    Post # 230
    Member
    3423 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Rachel631:  I’ve lived in Europe for a long time and feel like dining culture over there is very much not family oriented.  It’s more of a special ocation thing and in general it is more expensive to dine out.  I’ve never been bothered by a screaming child in a restaurant in Europe.

    In the US restuarants are turning into playgrounds.

    Post # 231
    Member
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @ebarnes0:  Wait, is it ok if I bring my baby into a brewery? In your eyes, I mean. I don’t expect accomodations, or a high chair, or anything like that. He isn’t screaming. He’s just there, with us, and other friends with kids.

    Post # 232
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @annifer:  I don’t mind one bit if you just use common sense.  If your child can handle it, awesome!  We’ve had some really great kids and babies in our bar.  However, I don’t particularly like the exception for places that have a clearly posted “21 and over” policy.  Our bar has a policy of 21 and over after 7pm, and we card at the door to enforce it.  But children with their parents are always given an exception, with the assumption that if you’re bringing your child in to this environment, that’s on you.

    I had a table awhile back of a dad with his two twin 7 year old daughters.  They were an absolute joy – so polite and respectful and just overall wonderful to be around.

    I also had a table recently where the parents let their 2 or 3 year old run around like a crazy person.  I actually tripped over him when he ran in front of me, and my hands were full of beers.  I could have very easily dropped them on him and hurt him badly.  I asked the parents to please keep an eye on him, as I didn’t want to hurt him accidentally, and they just laughed.

    There are different kinds of parents, and I really believe that as long as you’re the kind that uses your head and analyzes the situation compared to your child and what you expect to get out of the situation, then you’re good!

    Post # 233
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @annifer:  Also, re: breweries – they tend to be very laid back environments and are usually around the medium range of volume, which tends to be best for kids.  Unless it’s a crazy pretentious brewery…in which case I wouldn’t be going, with or without kids!

    Post # 234
    Member
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @ebarnes0:  Oh, no, if it said 21 and over, I don’t think I’d bring my kid. That’s totally fair.

    We’re in Colorado, which has a great craft beer culture, plus we’re homebrewers. So we’re there to appreciate the beer, and meeting at breweries and taphouses is something our group tends to do frequently. We don’t let the kids run around – I feel your pain there. I waited tables for ages, and kids running around a restaurant makes me cringe. It’s so very dangerous.

    Post # 235
    Member
    1742 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think the people who should the most angry about parents who can’t police their children and don’t get what is and isn’t appropriate for a child who by necessity has a limited attention span/ability to sit still are those parents who can police their children and do get it.  It’s the other parents who are preciptating bans on all children at restaurants and creating an environment where everyone holds their breath and says “oh God, not by me, please not by me,” when you bring your children into a restaurant, on a plane, etc.  

    Another thing I notice is that in other countries I visit children clearly respect any adult who addresses them to say “excuse me” or something similar, whereas in the USA there is a certain class of parent that loses his/her mind if any “stranger” dares to so much as look at his or her child for more than a second. 

    I will never have children because I know myself and I know that there’s no way I would enjoy being a mother more than I enjoy being able to go out to nice places whenever I want, but if I were going to raise children, I would give strong consideration to raising them outside of the USA.  I think that the segment of USA culture that strangles women in the role of motherhood and centers everything around children is really disturbing.

    Post # 236
    Member
    6317 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @Atalanta:  That’s really interesting. When my parents moved here (Canada) from the UK when I was a baby, they got death glares when they took me to restaurants. Not talking fancy ones either, and I was not throwing tantrums. One occasion left my mom in tears – a lady complained to the manager about me even though I hadn’t made a peep.

    I always heard that Europe was much more child friendly than North America. I know my sister in law always takes her toddler to restaurants and people fawn over the baby. I guess it can vary from country to country.

    As far as the OP goes, I probably wouldn’t take my future baby to a gourmet restaurant because I wouldn’t want to ruin the experience for other patrons (say if the baby starts wailing).

    Post # 237
    Member
    2056 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    You know what this reminds me of?  Elementary school.  You know, where that one kid would do something, and the whole class would get in trouble.

    It’s not fair to the people who do behave, but like others have brought up, standards and tolerance vary parent to parent.  I believe it was also brought up about weddings- going to what was supposed to be “child-free” without your kid and finding that there were exceptions can be very hurtful.

    Post # 238
    Member
    5229 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    It’s pretty common in the hipster and academic crowds to bring infants into breweries during the daytime while parents relax with friends and have a glass of beer. I’ve seen a lot of babies in Ergos and Bjorns and the like in breweries in Jacksonville and Gainesville.

    Post # 239
    Member
    5229 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    @Atalanta:  You must have been in very different places in Europe. When I’ve been to England, Italy, and Greece, I (1) found quality food to be much cheaper and (2) saw young children at restaurants all the time.

    Post # 240
    Member
    308 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MrsWBS:  Infants and eight month old children, such as the one in question, do not “make conversation.” They make noise. Two year olds cannot really make significant, intelligible conversation either. They are certainly able to speak, but they are, by virtue of their age and developmental stage, hardly capable of the kind of self-discipline and bodily control that are called for by the behavioral codes of opera, ballet, and, yes, fine dining.

    If this still strikes you as misguided, then I can only conclude that you and I have very different experiences and perceptions of fine dining, and the corollary behavior appropriate to such palces — that is, places with months-long waiting periods and triple-digit entree prices.

    Post # 241
    Member
    2202 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    I can’t find the article now, but the one I read was written after the author had a call back from the chef to answer specific questions. 

     

    The baby came with a party of 4. 

     

    There was no mention of any babysitter at all, he didn’t discuss that with them. He said it had been assumed in the media, but that wasn’t the case. In fact, he seemed more apt to believe they never had one booked at all. 

     

    Once the baby was crying for a significant amount of time, the mother was asked to take the baby into the foyer to calm it. She was gone for a couple minutes, brought back the still squalling baby, and never attemped again. He thought the mom was acting entitled. 

     

    Also, he said they have, on many occasions, refunded the booking fee. He said that if they had called beforehand with any problems he definitely would have given them an out. 

     

    So, no excuses for this one. 

    ETA: The chef also doesn’t know the exact age of the baby. He admits he guessed it was around 8 months, and everyone just went with it.

    The topic ‘NWR – Babies at fancy restaurants – yes or no?’ is closed to new replies.

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