(Closed) NWR: Baby shower invite question

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

That’s really rude of her to do that, I’d be upset too! Did you use any of the stuff you bought for the invites or can you take them back? I would ask her for a final count, and just do something you can afford. Maybe make it a little less fancy, serve easier and cheaper food, do just desserts or apps. And hope a lot of those people don’t show.

Post # 5
3267 posts
Sugar bee

I would contact her privately (preferably on the phone) and let her know that there has been a misunderstanding.  Tell her that you are only able to host XX number of people.  She then can still take you up on your offer playing by your rules, or she will have to decline your offer.

The line “I’m sorry that won’t be possible” could be your best friend in this situation.  I woudn’t give her any reasons why you can’t.  You just can’t. 

You: ….I am only able to host 35 people including you and me

Her:  Whanh…I need to invite the other 43 people in my department

You: I’m sorry that won’t be possible.  I can still host 35 people.  Please let me know if you are still interested in my hosting.

Her: But I don’t have any family here, so I need to invite the 99 people from my 86 different activiites.

You: I’m sorry that won’t be possible.  Please let me know by Friday if I should contine to plan. 

Then get off the phone. 

Don’t give her anything to argue with.  You say costs she may offer to pay the difference.  You say space, she offers to get you a bigger space.  So give her nothing.  You hold the cards here.  No matter what she says you counter with I’m sorry that won’t be possible.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

Post # 6
32 posts
  • Wedding: June 2008

OP , Listen to @megin: , she has given you good advice. 

She’ll probably hint around enough and the work friends will end up coordinating the usual cake / punch or potluck work shower. 

Truthfully, as a co-worker, I would be delighted with the opportunity to provide a gift and share in the joy during work hours vs attending an after-hours event. My free time is pretty important to me.

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